ManWithPez

Yo dawg! I head you like bitin' other dawgs. Here ya go!

Being a surly, slightly overweight nerd, I’m certain you’re thinking that I’m about to say “physical confrontation” and the fights I like to avoid.  You’d be wrong this time, however.  Certain groups of people tear into each other verbally or in whatever way, and I just get embarassed or bothered to the point that I can’t BE bothered.   Everyone knows everyone has an opinion or two of their own.  There’s just no need to force it out of most people.  The Fights I Like To Avoid…and why, after the jump. (more…)

Talk back to me again, and you'll be riding high tide, you got that?

Today is my son’s birthday.  In honor of this, I’m going to write a little piece about some of my favorite father/son relationships.  However, as is my wont here at ManWithPez, none of these are what you’d consider traditional father/son relationships, ohhhhh no.  In fact,  only one pair is actually blood related.  Having said that, I think we’ll do without the typical rank structure I usually employ with these types of lists, and just jump in.  Who’s ready?  I know I am, and before I go on…Happy 7th, Alexander.  Daddy is very proud of you.  Fathers and sons after the jump. (more…)

Yeah, I said his teeth are as yellow as his eyes! Scary, I know!

I don’t know why, but I find the following cartoon clips funny.  They’re really just repeated sayings from certain shows edited down to just those key things I find funny.  Find out why I think is so damn funny after the jump, but I warn you…there’s one clip in here that started me off laughing for a good ten minutes, and I STILL can’t explain why!  Videos for you after the jump! (more…)

Not the toad I meant, bu...ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD!

You know, ThatCostumeGirl and I argued over whether or not to call this group of people Lackeys or Toadies.  Turns out, they mean almost the same thing, really.  There is enough difference, however, that it looks like she won.  So, Toadies it is!  Besides, it’s the cooler sounding term anyways.  Now, there will be some on the list that you disagree with.  Indeed, there are some that start out as toadies, and then distinguish themselves otherwise further in the story.  For however brief a time, however, they were all in glorious servitude, and happy to be so!  So, here they are in rank order:  My Favorite Toadies, after the jump! (more…)

Look at her! She's just begging to be annoyed!

Yes, yes, children are little people too.  Little, loud, snotty, annoying people, too.  I oughta know!  I’ve helped created two of them!  And, it just so happens that their birthdays are forthcoming.  So, get ready to see a post or two devoted to them.  Children annoy me so much that I think of it as a public service to help other in finding ways to bug the little turd droppers.  Now, tread carefully here.  Invariably, you will be called immature for trying to get under the skin of someone much younger than you.  Screw that!  As far as I’m concerned, they have it coming, what with they’re trying to figure out how the world works and their innate curiosity.  The NERVE!  Ten New Ways to Annoy the young after the jump. (more…)

The best library companions ever! Or, the worst, depending on how you look at it.

I’ve made no secret that I’m a huge fan of Animaniacs.  In fact, in my office here at the ManWithPez Central, the siblings sit next to some of my leatherbound books.  I love my leathers, and I keep Wakko, Yakko, and Dot on the same level.  I honestly believe that it was one of the funniest cartoons ever made.  Actually, I still believe that.  Wakko was always my favorite, mostly because he’s completely different from his brother and sister, and not just because he has a completely different accent from them.  He thinks, acts, and genuinely is apart from them in every way.  In a very good, very funny way.  Watch some Wakko with me after the jump, won’t you? (more…)

You come in here trying to take my money?! You get burned.

I like dragons.  There, I’ve said it, and I don’t care what the rest of you think.  As a child, I used to sit and doodle dragons all the time.  I think a lot of us did.  Mine were a little strange, though.  I had all the firebreathing, scaly representations you normally see, but some of mine had dog’s heads and bird’s heads.  I had read that Chinese dragons took all kinds of strange forms, and I drew things like that.  The fish head dragon, I’m happy to say, remains buried for everyone’s sanity.  In doing research for this article, however, I”ve found that the dragon seems to by underrepresented!  So, here’s my personal list of my favorite dragons.  I’m certain you won’t agree with some of these, but feel free to tell me yours!  Dragons, after the jump! (more…)

From George's yearbook: "Be good this summer! Don't rob any casinos!"

 It doesn’t do to forget where one comes from, and as you can clearly see from this photo I found over at FILM.com, George Clooney still remembers from whence he came.  I would still bet, however, that he was pulling tail with this look back in the day.  Meanwhile, I couldn’t get kissed in high school, let alone…uh…anything else, and I know I looked better than this.   I mean, come on…he looks like the nerd the other nerds used to beat up!  Whatever.  He managed to pull his shit together and make a global community of woman fawn over him.  Perhaps, one day, I can do the same!  Let’s see what I can do!

Please...just say one of these phrases around me, and this is the scene that plays in my head.

ThatCostumeGirl read my last list of abusings of the English language and reminded me that I forgot a couple.   Turns out that I’m just a hate filled machine that basically dislikes everyone’s words that aren’t mine.  And, I stand by that.  Like I’ve said before, if you use any of these, I don’t mean to anger you, and I wouldn’t say anything to you, but inside, I’d be as clenched as a hermorrhoidic cocaine user who just sat on a hedgehog.  Angering words and phrases after the jump! (more…)

Voted "Most likely to bitch slap a T-800" in high school.

I don’t believe this pair has ever been featured in anything together, but that’s okay.  That’s what we’re shooting for with this weekly article (which, for some reason, nabs my biggest number of visits each week).  So, we’ve got a movie star, who’s been in some of the best nerdbait films of all time, and a TV star who’s hot and apparently doesn’t mind being around a group of guys acting like dorks constantly.  Kaley and Michael after the jump. (more…)