Hell, I'd crash my mother's wedding to get with her!

Here’s a short Hot Nerd Crush to help you through your Monday.   One is married to one of the most annoying people on the planet, and the other is Isla Fisher!  No, I’m kidding.  Arnold Schwarzenegger’s wife Maria Shriver isn’t annoying.  But, we can’t judge hotness based on one’s significant other.  Look at Isla, who’s married to Sasha Baron Cohen, the man responsible for Borat!  That would rob most of the ugly nerds out there of hope that they could find that one hot person out there that isn’t actually lying when they say that they find intelligence sexy.  Bah!  Anyways, let’s get started.  Isla Fisher and Arnold Schwarzenegger after the jump.

I first recall seeing Isla Fisher as a blonde in the first Scooby Doo live action movie (along with future Hot Nerd Crush Linda Cardellini.)  Perhaps I just didn’t think much of the movie, because I simply didn’t remember her in the movie.   She turned up again as a hot, insane redhead in Wedding Crashers.  Much more memorable this time, because her comedic timing was showcased, as well as a body double.  (Damn body doubles!)  Her turn in Definitely, Maybe  was also standout, though the idea of this diminuitive redhead being some kind of alternative rebel is a little laughable.  But, what do I know, I’m a fat nerd.

Look at your man. Look at me. I'm on a horse.

And, being a fat nerd, I would definitely draw the ire of long standing tough man, Arnold Schwarzenegger.  The former Mr. Olympia and current governor of California has shown that he’s more than either the son of a nazi or the owner of a funny accent.  He’s a stickler for fitness, damn it!  Beyond that, of course, he’s been in some of the better science fiction films ever.  Starting with The Terminator.  Of course, you had to buy a gigantic Austrian body builder who could barely speak english as a killer robot.  Later, he starred in one of my favorites, Predator.  Not his most quotable film (that’d be a toss up of Commando/Kindergarten Cop), but certainly one of the better ones.  Simply because he let’s loose with his idea of a primal scream to get the intergalactic hunter’s attention.  Makes an excellent ringtone.  Especially in church.  And, my personal favorite of Arnold’s sci-fi movies would have to be the memory hiding actioner Total Recall.  Arnold’s ripped body is probably the best reason to “git yo ass ta Mahs.”

Damn Clint! Save some of that Beefcake for the rest of us!

You know what?  It feels good to get back to listing actual people for the Hot Nerd Crush again.  And, today, we’re going to look at a couple of more mature actors.  Mostly cause they’re still really hot.  Besides that, they both have distinguished acting careers.  And, they’ve actually appeared together in the same movie.  More on that later, however.  Let’s take a look at the combined hotness of Clint Eastwood and Patricia Clarkson after the jump!

Clint Eastwood, I’m proud to say, is one of my idols.  First off, he built an entire career on being a hardass.  After he got done being a hardass, he decided to show people that where his real talent was.  He’s a brilliant director that is as home directing small features as he is directing huge action scenes.   When you think of an archetypical cowboy, who do you think of?  Okay, besides John Wayne.  That’s right, Clint Fuckin’ Eastwood, that’s who!  From an uncountable number of spaghetti westerns directed by Sergio Leone, people thought they had an idea who Clint Eastwood was.  Turns out, along with the hardass cowboy in him, there was also a hardass cop in there too!  And his name is “Dirty” Harry Callahan!  After five Dirty Harry movies (No shit…there’s five of them!), he moved on to play roughneck bareknuckle fighter Philo Beddoe in Every Which Way But Loose and Any Which Way You Can.  Ah, as Kevin Smith pointed out, the concept of a man and his monkey never gets old.  After that, we got to take a look at Eastwood’s hardass Marine character Gunnery Sgt Thomas Hiway in Heartbreak Ridge.  Okay, it’s not that great a movie, but when you get done seeing it, you will come away thinking that Clint Eastwood plays the best Marine in HISTORY!   He starred in and directed Unforgiven, an antiviolence western that somehow ends up being violent as hell!  To me, though, his best recent accomplishment was his part in directing and starring in Gran Torino, an absolutely amazing film.  I won’t even start to describe it.  Just go see it, trust me, and you’ll see how an 80 year old man ended up as this week’s Hot Nerd Crush!

Back off, the rest of you! She's waving at me and me ONLY!!!

Patricia Clarkson.  I don’t even have to say anything else.  Just Patricia Clarkson.  If you want to see what I’m talking about watch the SNL Digital Short Motherlover.  Beyond that, however, she’s just a hot looking lady, and one hell of an actress.   As for that film I mentioned that she was in with Clint Eastwood?  Oh, that’d be the last Dirty Harry movie, The Dead Pool.  (And, might I say, one hell of a step up from normal Clint Eastwood muse Sondra Locke.  Not being mean…I’m just saying.)  It just seems anymore, that if you need a hot older lady in your movie, the go to’s have changed.  It used to be Susan Sarandon or Goldie Hawn.  Now, we go with Patricia Clarkson, and you know…I can handle that.  I thought she brought some much needed pathos and a feminine touch to The Green Mile.  It’s that hair, that body, and that smoky voice.  There’s just something about her that screams sex!  Or rather, SEX!!!  Anways, she’s my pick for Hot Nerd Crush this week, and I stand by it.  She can get mad and leave if she wants, but that means I get to watch her walk away.  Rowr.  Hee hee.

Oh yeah! The Poison Ivy Pinup!

For our last Hot Nerd Crush of May, and the last comic hot ones we’ll be looking at….oh, for quite some time, let’s take a look at a Batman bad girl and the leader of the X-Men.  Both of them have quite unique abilities, but one has a festering hatred for men, and the other…well, he’s a man.  Besides playing for opposite comic book teams, they have little in common, other than the odd ability to pull high class tail despite the fact that the two of them do have rather odd appearances (Green and bald parapalegic, respectively).  Ladies and gentlemen (Yeah…like either one of those demographics come to THIS site), I present Poison Ivy and Professor X after the jump.

Pamela Isley, better known as Poison Ivy in the Batman universe is a bad, bad girl.  She was once a hot, young botanist in love, until her lover (The Floronic Man.  No shit!  Way to pick em, there, Pamela.) tried to poison her with plant toxins.  Ivy discovered that she is immune to all poisons and toxins, deciding to use them against everyone else in her agenda of keeping the world as natural as possible.  See, that’s the real problem with this chick.  She’s not really that bad of a person.  At least, her goals aren’t bad.  She, of course, coming from Gotham City, is batshit crazy.  Using her knowledge of plant toxins, she develops a lipstick (no shit), and anyone she kisses while wearing it is under her control.  It’s been seen working on Batman, Catwoman (HOT!)….even Superman.  Despite the silliness of her usual modus operandi (Oh shit!  Killer dandelions!  RUN!), whenever she’s on the scene, people are more than a little intimidated by her.  Mostly because human beings mean exactly dick to her when compared to the importance of plant life.  She does weild a wrist mounted crossbow, and you can guess what she coats the tips of the arrows with.  Different artists depict her different ways, but I like the green skinned Orion slave girl version of her.  Mostly because in this guise, it seems so odd that someone would just make out with a green chick…but they must have at some time!  That’s the other thing about Poison Ivy…You have no plausible deniability.  If you’re under her spell, that means you just got caught making out with a green woman who ISN’T She-Hulk.  She’s still ridiculously hot for all her greenness, though.

When I said the Professor gets the pussy, I totally meant something else.

On the “not green” side of the ledger, there’s Professor Charles Xavier, or leader/founder of the X-Men, Professor X.  Apparently his mutant ability early in the comics was to get his ass kicked right out of his wheelchair, and then psychically call for the team “To me, my X-Men.”  Kinda lame, really.  Sooner or later, the writers figured out that they might need to do more with “the world’s most powerful telepath”.  So, they did, turning him into an occasionally absent powerhouse who very nearly killed most of the Marvel Universe when he got a hard-on for the wrong girl.  More on that in a second.  My favorite appearance of his would have to be during the giant X-crossover “Fatal Attractions”, when Professor X decided he’s simply had enough of archvillain Magneto’s shit.  When Magneto crashes Illyana Rasputin’s funeral, Professor X grabs him, commandeers his power, and drives Magneto into the upper atmosphere.  Later in the story, he completely wiped Magneto’s mind, turning him into a vegetable.  It set the stage for possibly the single greatest threat the Marvel Universe had faced.  You see, what was left of Magneto fused with the worst parts of Charles Xavier’s brain…including one part that totally had the hots for Jean Grey.  Ewwww!  This fused being became Onslaught, a villain that bitchslapped the Hulk just for looking at him the wrong way.  Fascinating stuff, but Charles, for a bald guy in a wheelchair, gets the girls.  Be it the famous mutant doctor Moira McTaggert, or the Queen of the Shi’ar Lilandra, Charles pulls the tail.  I’m guessing his ability to manipulate minds might have something to do with it.  But in a sexy way…not a date rape kind of way at all!

Oh Max...you bad, bad boy!

Here at ManWithPez, we do not discriminate against the good guys and the bad guys when it comes the Hot Nerd Crush.  Last time, it was Mystique, who really was as bad as they come.  This time, we’re going to have a look at a bad guy and good lady!  One is as bad as they come, and very nearly destroyed the entire DC universe with his murderous machinations.  The other is a mutant who controls weather.  As goofy as that sounds, she’s really not to be trifled with.  Maxwell Lord and Storm, Hot Nerd Crushes, after the jump.

Now, you might be asking yourself, after including Booster Gold in the last Hot Nerd Crush, why would I pick the man who killed his best friend, Blue Beetle?  (And, he didn’t just kill him…he blew his friggin’ head off!)  Well, the truth is, he was ridiculously dangerous!  So much so that he had to be put down like a dog!  He wasn’t always a bad guy, though.  He helped establish the Justice League International.  He was always a bit ruthless, however, and when it was revealed that he had mind control powers, you just knew he was up to no good.  During Infinite Crisis, he set loose the OMACS, who were actually people that had been injected with nanotech to imbue them with superpowers.  Of course, he used them to try and take over the world, but it didn’t stop there!   After killing Ted Kord, The Blue Beetle, he took over the mind of Superman, and began to use him to take out the Justice League.  The only thing that stopped him?  Well, that’d be Wonder Woman, snapping his neck for him.  You don’t mess with the Amazon.  Lord damn near dared her to do it.  And, of course, it was recorded and rebroadcast the world over, making Diana a virtual world criminal.  His machinations continued after his death, and it damn near destroyed everything!  Now, that’s foresight!  You simply have to admire it!  And, I do…which speaks volumes about the kind of person I am, I suppose.

She's quite an electrifying presence, huh?

Ororo Tchalla nee Munroe is one of the baddest MF’ers in comic book history.  She’s a mutant with the ability to locally control weather patterns.  An ability she’s weilded to devastating effect time and again.  She’s now married to the King of Wakanda, The Black Panther, making her the queen consort of an entire African nation.  Before that, however, she was a leader of the X-Men.  My single favorite moment of hers occured in the sewers.  The Morlocks, a group of mutants who live in the underground have a new leader, Marrow.  Or, they thought they did.  You see, at one time Storm was the leader of the Morlocks, and relinquished control to Callisto.  The only way to assume leadership?  Mortal combat.  Which this girl Marrow wanted from Ororo.  Storm gave it to her in spades in a brutal hand to hand battle (Marrow, a mutant who has bone growing out of her skin, used her powers in the fight.  Storm did not) the culminated with Storm tearing out Marrow’s heart!  (To be fair…it had a bomb wired to it.)  Now THAT’S how you settle a damn fight!  Storm is hot, she’s badass, and she does NOT take shit off anyone…making her a perfect choice for Hot Nerd Crush.

And THAT'S what Mystique is SUPPOSED to look like! You hearin' me Rebecca Romijn?

Oh, Hot Nerd Crush…how I’ve missed you!  I suppose a recount of the guidelines are in order, huh?  Okay…first off, I’m not gay.  Doesn’t mean I can’t find a man attractive, and I stand by that. I just highlight a few people now and again that I think your typical dork might find attractive.  Just lately, they’ve all been fictional people. In the last few instances of Hot Nerd Crush, I’ve been highlighting comic book superheroes, and as is my wont, I changed the rules in the middle of the game.  For the rest of the month, we’re adding the villains in too.  So, this week, let’s take a look at favorite Marvel badgirl Mystique and current DC good guy (That you’re never heard of) Booster Gold!

Boy…character histories don’t come more convoluted than the blue hotness that is Raven Darkholme, or Mystique!  All I know is that she’s an all around badass!  While normally, she chooses to strike and then use her shapeshifting abilities to disappear into a crowd, when she’s pressed on the attack, the effects are devestating to anyone she’s up against.  Her abilities make her age indeterminate, and she’s given birth two times (that we know of) making her one of the hottest MILFs in comics!  She had a son with gnarly X-Men villain Sabertooth (Ugh…that’s not right!).  Their offspring was the completely human Graydon Creed.  Mystique wanted nothing to do with him after finding out he was Homo Sapien rather than Homo Superior…Harsh!  Also, along with the demonlike mutant Azazel, she gave birth to one of my favorite mutants, Nightcrawler!  She’s mean, she’s smart, she’s into chicks (Seriously…she raised Rogue with some help from a female mutant named Destiny…rowr!)  And she’s damn near unkillable.  Personally, my favorite storyline of hers is “Get Mystique” wherein Wolverine has a bone to pick with Mystique…and he does, to fanboy satisfaction.

Protecting your future to save his ass....PAST! I meant past!

My personal favorite superhero just lately has changed. Normally, Spider-Man would hold that billing, but along comes Michael Carter, aka Booster Gold!  (Or, Booster F’n Gold as he’s known around this house.  No, really…that’s what my kids call him.  They pronounce the F and everything!)  While Booster’s history hasn’t always been the greatest (Indeed, he was thrown out of the sport of football for throwing games against bets he had placed himself…Naughty, Booster…just naughty!)  he is a superhero of the future come back to save us all.  Originally for fortune and glory, kid…fortune and glory.  He was a night watchman in a museum in the future in Metropolis along with his trusty security robot, Skeets (YAY, SKEETS!), Michael steals a forcefield belt and a Legionaire flight ring, and journeys to the past, where he knows what’s going to happen to whom and where, and decides to make himself a superhero!  While Booster is a shameless self promoter, you can’t help but love the guy!  If you read his current comics incarnation, then you know that his new job is travelling throughout time with his son Rip Hunter and righting certain temporal wrongs.  The downside…no one can know that he was involved.  Kinda puts a dent in the fortune and glory stuff.  Of course, he’s fantastic at it.  He’s Booster F’n Gold!  He gets the job done, even when the job is impossible!  Booster can’t help but show that inside him are all the characterstics of a great superhero, and while he seems self involved, he will do what needs to be done.

On a side note for Booster Gold:  Booster has appeared in two of the DC Animated Universe’s shows, to great effect.  In Justice League Unlimited, he was in one of my favorite half hours of television ever in an episode called “The Greatest Story Never Told“, and he lent a hand to Batman in Batman:  The Brave and the Bold in “Menace of the Conqueror Caveman“, and was just as great as ever.  Kudos to Tom Everett Scott for his brilliant voice work as Booster, and to Billy West as Skeets in both of those episodes.  Watch either one of these episodes, and you’ll see what makes these two brilliant!

A woman you can't touch with a pet dragon that can burn the shit out of you. I give up!

If you’re into comics at all and neither one of these two do anything for you…You may be dead.  Okay, maybe having crushes on clearly fictional people is a cry for help, but that doesn’t mean it can’t work for you!  I mean, you’ve taken it too far if you’re sleeping with your comics, but who hasn’t done that from time to time.  I mean other than me.  I’d never do that.  Ever.  One is a mutant who can move through solid objects, and the other is a man who can kick anyone’s ass.  Presenting Hot Nerd Crush:  Bruce Wayne and Kitty Pryde after the jump.

Katherine Pryde is a dangerous woman.  Wolverine himself once said that he didn’t want to spar her because he didn’t feel like bleeding.  She’s an accomplished martial artist, ridiculously smart, hot, and totally willing to make it with organic steel men.  If that’s not a dreamgirl, I don’t know what is?!  She comes from Xavier’s fabled “New Mutants” class, but went on to head up her own team in England, called Excalibre.  I don’t know why it was called that, but it was.  She formed a hot and heavy relationship with Piotr Rasputin, or Colossus.  Dude’s made of metal.  I don’t blame her.  She was recently fabulously showcased in the Joss Whedon-penned Astonishing X-Men, where it’s clear that Joss has had the hots for Ms. Pryde for some time.  In the last Whedon issue, he turns her into a powerhouse that has to be seen to be believed.  I don’t often drop jaw at comic books, but that one certainly made me.  (John Cassaday certainly had his hand in that, too.)  I enjoyed Ellen Page’s take on the character as well, what with her making The Juggernaut look like a bitch and all.

Bruce Wayne in a tux. A little something for da ladies.

Bruce Wayne is Batman.  (Oh shit…sorry for the spoiler)  Do you really need to say anymore.  He’s the powerless superhero that the entirety of the DC Universe is terrified of.  He punched a New God in the face for chrissakes!!!  Take THAT, Darkseid!  I used to get phonecalls late at night when I was in the Air Force from people on shift who were arguing over who could take Batman in a fight!   The fact that he’s scary as shit and supersmart does little to mask that he’s a bit crazy.  You don’t just dress up like a bat and beat the shit out of people just because your parents were killed by a mugger.   Then again, this happened in Gotham City, where it would appear EVERYONE has a costume in their closet.  In the animated World’s Finest Superman/Batman movie, on Batman’s first meeting with Superman, he just tossed him around for a bit.  The response from Superman (after knocking the wind out of Batman) was “I knew you were crazy, but I didn’t think you were stupid.”  It’s Batman’s unyielding sense of duty to his fallen parents that defines him as a superhero and keeps him standing when others would simply lay over.  I’m not the biggest Batman fan out there, mostly because I don’t care for the comics (except Hush!  Do yourself a favor, find it, and read it!) but I love the character, who once beat up Superman simply because he anticipated how the Kryptonian would fight.  He used the fact that Superman is a good person at heart against him, because Batman isn’t a good person at heart.  That’s how you get to be a Hot Nerd Mancrush around here!

Don't let the hotness confuse you. She'll make you tell the truth, and then kick your ass for it!

Wait a minute (you’re thinking…shit, I don’t know what you’re thinking.  This is what I’m thinking you’re thinking. ) these are comic book characters!  Well, thanks Captain Obvious, but I’ve explained that you can crush on fictional characters several times on this site.  Yes, it’s a little weird, but I think if you stick around through this month, you’re going to see a trend.  I’d like to dedicate April to Superheroes!  Let’s get started, shall we?

The Warrior Born herself!  That’s right, Wonder Woman.  Except, she wasn’t born so much as manufactured.  Queen of the Amazons Hippolyta on the island of Thyrmiscera made herself a daughter out of clay, and then the Gods granted that form life.  I love Wonder Woman!  I think she’s one of the best comic book characters that comic book writers have no idea how to use correctly.  (Seriously, have you seen some of the halfassed villains in Wonder Woman?  Etta Candy?!  Give me a fuckin’ break!)  Wisdom of Athena, beauty of Aphrodite, and, in the wrong hands, as she can sometimes be, the worst manhater in the business.  Honestly, once I see that a writer has taken that tact with her, I just tune out.  Also, I don’t know how many times I’ve defended her in the “Can Wonder Woman beat up Superman” argument.  Her powers are magically imbued, and the Krytopian has been shown time and again to be succecptible to such things.  So, my answer is yes.  I loved the episode of Justice League where she ended up in a cage match against Hawkgirl, Black Canary, Vixen and Huntress.  Those other powerful women were terrified of her, and their only real strategy was to stay alive until they could figure something else out!  Come on, DC!  Give this character the treatment a badass of her caliber deserves!

Damn Pete! Put a shirt on! On second thought...no, you're good.

I think it’s obvious if you’ve been on this site any amount of time that I am a Spider-Man fan.  Then again, the character was created specifically to show what happens to the everyman, or boy when he’s suddenly given superpowers.  The answer, as told to him by his uncle is that people with power have a responsibility to use it for the best.  And Peter’s done that.  Sure, he stumbled in the beginning, and it led to his uncle’s death.  Hey, as a narrative device, it works, because Peter’s never since forgotten his uncle Ben’s message.  Also, Peter was the school nerd who could suddenly kick any ass he wanted to, not to mention he ended up marrying the hottest supermodel ever!   I refuse to discuss Brand New Day here (Where Peter sold his marriage to Mary Jane to Mephisto to secure his aunt’s safety…it was Mary Jane who cut a side deal so that no one would know that Peter ((who’d already revealed his identity to the world)) was Spider-Man…SEE!  That whole story is just one big mess!)  But, for my money, what makes Peter so compelling to read about is his financial troubles, his family troubles, his troubles in general that never stop him from doing what he knows in his heart to be right.  My favorite superhero of all time is, and always will be Spider-Man.  Also, he has the best rogues gallery of all time (Take THAT, Batman!)

Uh...DAMN! She can be in my terrible movie anytime!

I know that I’ve tried to limit pairing up the Nerd Crushes, but I’ve only noticed recently that these two have been paired up in at least three movies!  And, all of them awesome low budget Stuart Gordon pictures.  You can find much worse ways to blow an afternoon than watching their collected films.  So, let’s get started, shall we?  Barbara Crampton and Jeffrey Combs after the jump.

Barbara Crampton is hot, and there’s just no way around it!  Sure, she’s gone down in history as the woman that a disembodied head went down on in Re-Animator, but there’s so much more to this talented woman!  I don’t think I’ve ever seen a movie she was in that she didn’t take her clothes off in, and that makes her an actress for the ages!  Beyond that, though, she does lend credence and sincerity to the cheesy B films that she appeared in throughout the 80s.  Except for the empty headed moron she played in Fraternity Vacation.  But, I can forgive her that, because I like the movie.  I recently watched From Beyond, another horror film pairing her with Jeffry Combs and directed by Stuart Gordon.  Sure, it’s another halfassed HP Lovecraft interpretation, but it’s also a very fun movie!  And, Barbara Crampton looks fantastic in her leather S&M gear!

Typical weekend at the West house. That man knows how to party!

Jeffrey Combs has transcended his B movie beginnings, but has never forgotten where he’s come from.  He MAKES the Re-Animator series as Herbert West, Re-Animator!  There’s something magnetic about him when he’s in a movie.  If you remember him from The Frighteners, you’ll remember him as the creepiest part of a movie that had a giant Grim Reaper AND Jake Busey in it!  That’s saying a lot!  He and Ms. Crampton teamed up again for Castle Freak, a wonderfully weird Stuart Gordon gem that’s slightly hard to find, but worth it simply for the weirdness of the “plot” of the movie.  I’d be a fan of his if for no other reason than his badass vocal turn as The Question for Justice League Unlimited.  I tell you, go find these Stuart Gordon movies I’ve mentioned, and you’ll be doing alright for a night of awesome, cheap entertainment.

Kinda like your girlfriend!  No, I’m kidding.  She’s not all that entertaining.

Looks like this and still pulls tail. It's not fair, I tells ya!

Welcome back!  Let’s talk about nerdbait, shall we?  The purpose of Hot Nerd Crush is not to profile hot nerds.  That some of them happen to be so is an afterthought.  No, these are people who I, as a nerd (Sorry Mom, but it’s true.) find attractive.  And, to put my brother’s mind at ease, no, I’m not gay, not that it’s any of your business, and I wish you’d stop telling people that!  Anyways, one is a hyperintelligent smartass, and the other is one of the hottest androids to walk the Earth!  Hot Nerd Crush Johnny Galecki and Grace Park after the jump!

Johnny Galecki is probably best known these days for playing physicist Leonard Hofsteder on The Big Bang Theory.  A role I think he doesn’t get enough credit for.  When you’re talking about people whose collected IQs comprise a number bigger than most people’s SAT score, it’s hard to pick an everyman who the audience can relate to.  In this case, the most normal of the group, Leonard, fills that role, and Galecki does a masterful job in presenting himself as super intelligent and as an average guy.  He did a tour of duty on Roseanne, and that he managed to not get fired speaks to something about him that I don’t think we should go into here.  (Shhhh…she might be listening.)  And, I loved him in Suicide Kings…and movie that would have been sorely lacking in needed comedy relief had he not been in it.  When Christopher Walken is your comic relief, you might need a little more. 

I would walk through the snow to stand in her trash. Yes, really!

Grace Park is hot, and there’s just no two ways around it.  She’s also quite talented.  If you get a chance to see one of her interviews, take it.  She’s articulate and most of all, she’s just damn funny.  As you know if you’ve been here before, you know that I don’t just pick the girl Hot Nerd Crush based on how hot she is, but for several reasons.  Well, Grace is hot enough to make me want to go back on that rule, but, Thank God, I don’t have to.  She’s wildly talented, and I suspect we’ll be seeing much more of her around now that Battlestar Galactica is no more.  And, for the record, she made several unpalatable episodes worth watching, I thought.  Grace Park, ladies and gentlemen.  One of the better looking robots on record.  Now, if we could just get a BSG/Terminator crossover with Summer Glau.  I might die from the hot, I might.

What'd I say? If I can find them in glasses, that's how they're going up here.

It’s been awhile since I’ve done the Hot Nerd Crush, huh?  Odd of me, considering the piece I wrote on Malcolm McDowell is my most visited article to date.  Very well!  I’m sorry it’s been so long since I’ve visited the subject of who I thought was hot.  This week, I have a couple of blasts from the past, but don’t discount them based on that.  I’ve seen women visibly swoon over one of them, and the other is still a hot piece of…well, let’s be polite, shall we?  Deborah Foreman and Chris Sarandon after the jump.

You may remember Deborah Foreman from any number of 80s films she appeared in.  You don’t see her much in film anymore, not because her looks are fading (They aren’t…trust me) or any …you know what?  I have no idea why we don’t see more of her these days.  Now, she’s a yoga instructor, and I guess all that exercise has preserved her.  If you go over to IMDb and look at her recent photos…Damn.  Anyways, she played the General’s daughter in Real Genius who delivered the “Can you hammer a six inch spike through a board with your penis” line. (In the lexicon of nerd quotes, by the way!)  She played Muffy/Buffy in April Fool’s Day, a film designed to thoroughly screw with the audience’s head without being arthouse weird.  Oh, and my personal favorite:  She makes the low budget horror film Waxwork worth watching, and the good little girl who gets turned on by a whipping from the Marquis de Sade.  Pretty badass, I think.  Anyways, she’ll always give a good performance no matter what you see her in, so if the film you’re watching is giving you a bad 80s vibe, but she’s in it…hold on.  Things will get better momentarily.

Hello Charlie!

Chris Sarandon has had a wide and varied career, but you have to admit that no matter who he played, he looked good doing it.  Even that douchebag Prince Humperdink from The Princess Bride.  Of course, he’ll always have my respect (and mancrush) for his part as Jerry Dandridge in Fright Night, my favorite horror film of all time.  That doesn’t discount his police detective in Child’s Play, his gay lover in Dog Day Afternoon, his government bureaucrat in Protocol, or his con man in Deep Space Nine.  The man has had a full career, I tell you!   And, ladies and gentlemen, if you needed another reason why he’s on here today, you have no further to look than The Nightmare Before Christmas.  He provided Jack Skellington with a speaking (but not singing…that was Danny Elfman) voice.   Oh…and Robert Pattinson, if you’re watching (HA!), and you want to know what a real vampire looks likes, then you go rent Fright Night.  Jerry Dandridge is the best vampire of all time.  OF ALL TIME!