Talk back to me again, and you'll be riding high tide, you got that?

Today is my son’s birthday.  In honor of this, I’m going to write a little piece about some of my favorite father/son relationships.  However, as is my wont here at ManWithPez, none of these are what you’d consider traditional father/son relationships, ohhhhh no.  In fact,  only one pair is actually blood related.  Having said that, I think we’ll do without the typical rank structure I usually employ with these types of lists, and just jump in.  Who’s ready?  I know I am, and before I go on…Happy 7th, Alexander.  Daddy is very proud of you.  Fathers and sons after the jump.

You're grounded, son. That, or I'll cut off the other hand, take your pick.

Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker – The only blood kin here on this list today consists of two men that tried desperately to kill each other over the course of three films.   The saddest part of it?  Darth KNEW Luke was his son, chopped his hand off…and THEN told him what was up.  Not for nothing, but that’s fucked up right there!  Of course, at the end of the whole mess, Daddy Vader comes around and destroys his evil master for trying to do what he’d been doing not five minutes previous:  Kill his son.  I’ll say this for old Anakin Skywalker…When he makes his mind up, you’d best not be standing near anything steep!

Whattya mean you killed a little girl? I HAVE NO SON!!!

Dr. Frankenstein and Adam (or The Monster) – In the book, this is about a messed up relationship, huh?  I mean, Frankenstein takes the time and effort to dig up dead people and stitch them together, run massive amounts of electricity through the result, and what does he get?  A rampaging beast who simply wants to destroy EVERYTHING the good doctor cares about.  Okay, it’s not really that simple, but these two share a complex relationship that apparently can only be solved through homicide and violence.  Or, perhaps the death of a little girl, mistaken for a flower.  Whatever.  No one sides with Frankenstein in this dust up.  It’s all about Boltneck (As he was referred to in his high school yearbook.)

Suuuure, you got syphillis from an ancient curse. Suuuure you did.

Rupert Giles and Xander Harris – Okay, okay.  I know the main relationship that Watcher Giles had on the show was with his favored vampire slayer, but if you watch closely, you’ll notice something.  Xander wants, nay, NEEDS approval from Giles from time to time, and he expects to be reprimanded by the wily Brit when he does wrong.  All the Scoobies do, actually, but as Xander was the only permanent male member of the group, it fell on Giles to show him how to be a man, and I think the Watcher did him right.  He called him on his wrongdoings, and he helped him notice his self worth, if, from time to time, Giles was the one who took it away from him in the first place.  Just like a real Dad does.  Or at least, some of the one’s I’ve been associated with.

Where'd you get that knife? Think I'm talking to hear myself? ANSWER ME!!!

Dr. Sam Loomis and Michael Myers – Sure, it wouldn’t do to have a list like this if I wasn’t going to include one where the father figure is constantly trying to kill the little one, and that’s what we have here.  Of all the relationships listed here, this is the most dysfunctional.  Loomis feels responisble for Myers and his homicidal behavior, and so feels that he must be the one…the only one who kills him.  Michael Myers, of course, is an unstoppable killing machine, but at least that old bastard Loomis went out on his own, and wasn’t dispatched by The Terminator…sorry, Michael.  If you look over the course of the movies, I think you’ll find that Loomis is that only one that bites the dust due to old age, and not a blade.  Good for him!

For a super powered alien, you have a tendency to whine, you know that?

Jonathan Kent and Clark Kent (Superman) – Sure, sure, Jor-El so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son and all that, but Jor-El wasn’t there to teach his boy to be a man, was he?  Jonathan Kent molded Superman into what he is, gave him his moral compass.  It can’t have been easy, raising a super powered adolescent being, but Jonathan and Martha did the best they could, which was pretty good, all told.  If you take the Jonathan out of Superman, I don’t know what you’d be looking at, but you wouldn’t have the hero we all know and love today, that’s for certain.  For my money, one of the best father/son relationships in all of popular media.

I love it when Alfred gets so pissed at Batman that he just shakes the shit out of him!

Alfred Pennyworth and Bruce Wayne (Batman) – Say your parents are both wealthy, and gunned down in front of your eyes.  Say you become a costumed vigilante to fight crime because of the trauma.  Think you might need a grounding influence in your life?  Someone to tell you when you’re going too damn far?  Bruce Wayne has that in his butler Alfred.  For me, it was best illustrated at the end of The Mask of the Phantasm, when Alfred tells Bruce that he’s worried since the beginning that Batman would become the thing that he pursues, and he’s grateful that he hasn’t.  Without Alfred, Bruce would be A) Dead (How many times has that butler sewn up Bruce?) and B) Just another nutjob without powers in tights.  Alfred is Bruce’s conscience, and has guided Bruce through some of his darkest times.