Our big blue boyscout Superman is a little hard to cast (Ask Bryan Singer.  Or don’t. He’ll never direct another one.) but, honestly, I think Brandon Routh did a masterful job of playing him in Superman Returns.  He’s got the look, obviously, and, over on Chuck just recently, he’s managed to show me, in a handful of episodes that there really is more to this actor than an excellent Christopher Reeve impression.  Brandon for Superman, thanks for asking.

Batman gets a little tougher to cast, in my opinion.  Carrying over from Batman:  The Animated series, the cartoon’s persona of him as rough, ready, down, and dirty crimefighting mastermind is cemented in JLU.  Even Superman warned some bad guys once that he’s the most dangerous man alive.  While Christian Bale has been doing a decent job of it, I think I’ll cast Gerard Butler.  His latest turn in Law Abiding Citizen shows he can cover that accent, and actually has pathos beyond screaming about SPARTAAAA!!!

Green Lantern John Stewart is, in the comics, the “overthinking” lantern.  An ex-soldier who never really let go of the uniform.  In his place, I’m going to put long one of my favorite actors Morris Chestnut.  He’s got the cut of authority, and he’s a damn handsome man.  But, he’s got some serious dramatic chop, that he’s shown since he started acting.    Plus, John Stewart got to be quite the badass on the show, and I think Mr. Chestnut would bring this trait out admirably.

Amidst a storm of rumored stunt casting, Warner Bros shut down the Wonder Woman movie that might have made ThatCostumeGirl one happy camper.  Personally, I know someone who has the look, but I don’t know what kind of actress she is.  Say hello to Australian knockout Megan Gale!  She’s 5′11″ tall, she’s got the look, with the pale eyes and the lovely mane of dark hair.  She would just have to remember that almost everyone in the Justice League is afraid of the powerhouse that is Wonder Woman…as well they should be.

I know he’s playing Green Lantern soon, but years ago, there was rumor of a Flash motion picture that would’ve starred Ryan Reynolds.  I think he would be perfect as the mile a minute smartass superhero.  (Also, my favorite in the league!)  Some of The Flash’s lines in the cartoon was some of the funniest things I’d ever heard in my life, let alone on a kid’s show.  Also, he got, hands down, one of the best scenes in the history of TV.  Maybe the movie would help the character out there?  It’d be nice, is all I’m saying.

The Martian Manhunter is arguably the brains of the Justice League.  The last of his kind, he struggles to understand humanity, and for the most part, ends up succeeding.  He’s also a big brained powerhouse to rival the Kryptonian.  If only he could stay away from hot things…his stunningly stupid weakness.  Laurence Fishburne is a suitable badass, I think, and I also think he’d be wonderful in this part as well.  There’d need to be some CGI trickery for the shapeshifter, but as long as Fishburne’’s authoritative, yet gentle voice comes out, I’d be happy.

Shayera Hol, or Hawkgirl comes across as a reluctant warrior in JLU, and for good reason.  In the previous series, Justice League, she betrayed the entire human race, even she did help save them in the end.  Laura Prepon, if she can stop acting goofy for just a second (not that there’s anything wrong with that) and straighten that posture, could pull this off…but she’d need some work.  I think she’s capable, myself, and the thought of her swinging that mace around gives me a happy.

There!  There’s the big seven…but if you’ve seen JLU, then you know there’s a whole lot more going on at The Watchtower than the core seven.  That was the whole point of the thing!  If a Justice League movie makes it big, I see no reason why a sequel shouldn’t include some of the other DC superheroes that were included in the show.  Let’s get started!

Jeffrey Combs did a masterful job portraying The Human Question (one of my favorites) in the show, and I see no reason to futz with that casting.  Granted, Mr. Combs is gaining in years, but since The Question wears a full face mask most of the time, I see no reason why he shouldn’t play him here.  The problem might be that younger audiences might confuse him with Rorschach from Watchmen.  The truth is Rorchach is based on The Question, not the other way around.  Mr. Combs plays the part.  Who plays The Question?  That…is the question.

Vixen is a total badass.  She’s able to channel animal energies, and she’s a skilled fighter.  The stunning Gina Torres played her in JLU, and again, I wouldn’t mess with that casting.  She also is a potential love interest of Green Lantern, but if you’ve watched the show, you know how that turns out.  Gina, if you’re listening (riiiiiight), play my Vixen, won’t you?

Huntress is a part of the Bat-family of costumed crime fighters.  She got a lot of play in JLU, and a movie based on the same should be no different.  She’s a badass fighter who’s just a little unhinged, but awesome at what she does.  Because I have total faith in her, and because she’s a stone fox, I’m going with Alyssa Milano.  Come on…how great would she rock that costume, huh?

Black Canary has long been one of my favorite heroines.  Mostly because she doesn’t take any shit.  From anyone!  She has a superpower…her sonic scream, and she can go toe-toe with almost anyone in the League in a fistfight.  Since she’s hot, and looks like she could probably kick someone’s ass, I’m going with Chuck resident badass Yvonne Strahovski.  She can give it gravity without being silly, and I would love to see this young actress tackle this part.

Supergirl ends up coming into her own on Justice League Unlimited, and I see no reason to mess with casting Laura Vandervoort, who did a decent job with the part on Smallville.  The character’s arc started in Superman:  The Animated Series, and continued to a lovely end in JLU.  Laura can do it, I promise!  Then again, that leads to casting The Legion…and I don’t have that kind of time today.

And, the character who most of the important story is told through…Green Arrow.  The first episode of JLU featured Ollie being drafted into the JLU, reluctantly because he thought the big seven weren’t thinking about the everyday Joes and Jills they started out protecting in the first place.  He comes around, of course, and ends up keeping the Justice League from disbanding at one point.  Now, if they ever make a Captain America movie (big talk out there, I know, but put up or shut up!) I would want no one else but Ryan McPartlin, Chuck’s Captain Awesome to play him.  Since we’re talking DC here, though, I think he’s funny enough, forceful enough, and definitely in the right shape to play the world’s greatest archer, Oliver Queen.  Come play with us, Ryan!

What’s that you say?  I haven’t cast any villains?  So, I haven’t.  Well, damn.  I guess I better get on that, huh?

The big villain, at least the big human one in JLU is resident bad guy and presidential candidate Lex Luthor.  Now, Kevin Spacey did a great job as Lex in Superman Returns, but I think I might want someone a little more serious with the part.  I’m nominating Timothy Olyphant.  He looks great with a shaved head, as he did in Hitman, and he’s definitely shown he can be both bad and serious.  Timothy…Lex Luthor.  Let’s get this started already!

The overarching villain from JLU was the absolute hardcore badass known as Darkseid.  He’s not “murder your parents in a dark alley” bad…he’s “just destroyed your whole fucking planet” bad.  He’s voiced by all time best badass in the world Michael Ironside, and again, I’m not going to screw with that casting choice.  He’s also the villain that Superman finally let go on with his entire strength in the show, and it was something to see!

They don’t say his name much, but Amazo, an android who can mimic any ability once exposed to it, mopped the floor with the Justice League.  For someone who can move like he can kick your ass, I’m going with camera trickery, and the stunt expertise of Ray Park.  Amazo’s only reason for not killing that JLU, by the way?  Boredom.  He was convinced to have a look around at some things before he went batshit.  He doesn’t speak often, but personally, I’d still like to hear Robert Picardo’s voice come out of the robot.  I think it might be arranged.

I could throw Brainiac in this list, but, honestly, just get Coery Burton to voice a CGI Brainiac, and the fanboys will be happy, I think.

So, there they are.  My choices for real life casting of one of the best shows ever, let alone an animated one. Again, there are several dozen heroes and badguys in the show to cast, and, maybe one day, I’ll come back to this and see if I can’t expand the list.  If you’ve never seen Justice League Unlimited, you need to, if you’re any kind of dork.  It’s simply a badass show with awesome writing and believable characters.  Unique, given the subject matter.  Let me know what you think, and who you’d cast!

One of my favorite films from the 80s, Remo Williams:  The Adventure Begins is now in my hot little hands, though it did take some tracking down.  The soundtrack…well, that’s another unfindable matter altogether.  ThatCostumeGirl and I were watching Remo on New Year’s Eve (Rock on!!!  We’re such party-going…uh…people.  Sigh.)  And since we’d both been drinking , we started discussing who we’d cast in a Remo Williams movie if it were made today.  Indeed, since there is a reboot in the works, now would seem to be the time to discuss such things.  Now, I realize that perhaps most couples don’t sit around doing this when they get their drink on, but it’s a common occurence around here.   The drinking for me, and the recasting discussions for her.  Anyways, see who we picked after the jump.

Fred Ward

Josh Holloway

Let’s start at the start.  One of the things that makes this movie work is the casting of Everyman toughguy Fred Ward as Remo Williams/Samuel Macon.  So, if you were remaking the film, it would stand to reason that if you screwed up this casting decision, you’d screw your whole movie.  ThatCostumeGirl suggested Lost’s Josh Holloway.  After thinking about it for a second, I agreed.  He does seem like the kind of guy that could be a tough man cop, and then brought back as a Shinanju trained superagent/assassin for the government.  You’ll notice in Remo Williams that they don’t say just exactly who they work for.  Because they don’t work for anybody!  So, sure…Josh for Remo.

Joel Grey

Min-Sik Choi

What made Remo Williams such campy fun was Joel Grey as acid-tongued Chiun, a Korean patriot and the master of the vague martial art, Shinanju.   To replace Mr. Grey (Though he could probably still do it.) I decided to go with Korean actor Min-Sik Choi who you might remember from the disturbing masterpiece Oldboy.  He looks batshit crazy, but is still a formidable presence, while having a number of years on him.  Also, it might be nice to see him in a movie where he doesn’t remove someone’s teeth with a hammer.

J.A. Preston

Gina Torres

Conn McCleary was the man who recruited Remo into service for the Emperor Smith (more on him later).  In the original, he was played by the irrepressible JA Preston, who I last recall seeing as a judge in A Few Good Men.  I’m making an audible here and changing Mac’s gender, as I think that not only is she gorgeous, but one of the best actresses ever, I would love to see Gina Torres as McCleary, one arm and all!  I can’t get enough Gina Torres, all told.

Sex Machine Wiford Brimley

Sex Machine Sam Elliott

Before Wilford Brimley decided to tell the world about his diabeetus, he played Harold Smith, the only character in Remo Williams more mysterious than Chiun, and the boss of the whole operation.  How he got Chiun’s respect is anyone’s guess, but the little old bastard refers to him as Emperor.  To take his place, I decided to get another grisled old man, but one with a little more sex appeal.  Not that Wilford isn’t a sexy bitch.  Sam Elliott will do nicely, if he’s open to the idea of a haircut.  A little something for the older ladies out there.  Okay, actually, he’s just something for the ladies, no matter their age.  Sexy old side of beef!  Heh heh.

Kate Mulgrew

Elizabeth Banks

Remo Williams, in the Destroyer books has an acquired tail total that surpasses James Bond!  While no sex occured in the movie, there was a lady.  Kate Mulgrew played Army Maj. Rayner Fleming.  For this part, I went with another hot actress, but one who has excellent comedic timing (as the part would seem to require) Elizabeth Banks.  Frankly, I just want to see her in a uniform.  Yow!

Charles Cioffi

Kelsey Grammer

And, every movie has a bad guy.  The big bad in Remo Williams was Charles Cioffi, who played industrial weapon manufacturer George Grove.  He was a real ass, too.  Grove, I mean, not Cioffi.  I can’t fault a man was in one of my favorite movies ever, Time After Time.  Recasting him, I believe I would love to see one of my favorite actors from a TV series, Kelsey Grammer.  It might be nice to see Mr. Grammer not play Frasier Crane, or indeed, be covered in blue fur as Beast from X-Men (though, personally, he was the only reason to watch that third pieceashit.) and it still be successful.

So, there you go.  Sure, there’s other parts that would need to be cast.  Most notably, Grove’s button man Stone, who clearly got his name from the diamond in his front tooth.  But, I think perhaps some of it should be left to your imagination.  Also, I have no idea who would play the part.  So, get on it, Hollywood.  This is a remake idea I can get behind, having been cheated of the further adventures of Remo after being told the the adventure was just beginning!   So, Sony, it looks like, who’s optioning a reboot…look over here!  I’ve done most of your casting for you!  Just pay the people and give us a good movie!