They're on the hunt...for a bra to fit Beth. Good luck.

I’ve been trapped in a hotel room for a couple of days…through no fault of my own, actually.  You know what this means, right?  Roughly twenty channels of crap TV all day.  A&E, Discovery, TLC…well, not TLC.  I gave up on that shit years ago, when it became snarky dress exchanges and guerilla interior design.  So, a steady diet of A&E and Discovery.  A&E shows stuff in roughly 4 hour blocks which they repeat.  What the fuck kind of programming decision is THAT?  Discovery shows different episodes of the same show all day, and while they do show some cool stuff from time to time, if you end up with a bad draw for the day, you’re stuck!  So, shows that I would normally stay away from like…say…Dog the Bounty Hunter or American Chopper, I’ve watched in mass quantities out of sheer boredom.  I’m starting to fucking like them!  It’s like some bizarre, television induced Stockholme Syndrome!   Let me tell you, I don’t think I should give a shit what happens to Paul Jr.  But I suddenly find myself hoping his new business works out.  Someone kill me already!

Who knows?  Tomorrow could be a better day.  Isn’t it about time for a Mythbusters marathon for no good reason?  Dear God…I hope so.

Reading and myopia. They go together like...um...nerds and glasses.

Someone around here, and I’m not saying who, has been accepted in the University of Oklahoma’s Library Science Graduate Program.  Tomorrow, I’m supposed to begin on my Masters degree. 

I’m not one to toot my own horn…but that’s mostly because I don’t have any horns to toot.  Well, I’m going to toot the living hell out of this one.

TOOOOOOOT!!!

Is it just me, or has S Club 7 just stopped trying?

We here at ManWithPez have noticed that the American television scene has gotten a little stale of late.  There are a few sparks out there, but that’s not I’m writing about here today.  Today I’m writing about British TV genre show Misfits, airing on E4.  It’s aired two seasons, one Christmas special, and has announced a third season for later this year.  When 5 delinquents performing community service are suddenly stricken with superpowers, what do they do next?  That’s what’s facing these young twentysomethings.  Also, they’re kind of rude…but in the funniest possible way.  To me, watching this show is like watching someone who decided to fix Heroes…and did it correctly.  Granted the format isn’t quite the same, but the idea is similiar.  So, if you’ve got the ability to see it, by all means, watch Misfits, laugh at Robert Sheehan, and come back and thank me.  I’m worth it!

Looks like he wouldn't hurt a fly. That's the entire problem!

B movies of the 90s had their queen, and she was Jill Schoelen.  For once, she’s not the draw of one of the films she’s in, and for the record, The Stepfather is not a B film, but a taut, if somewhat predictable thriller with one very important thing going for it.  Terry O’Quinn and his amazing performance as Jerry, the man who just wants a family of his very own.  Of course, in modern times, things just don’t always go the way we might want them to.  Jerry’s new families fall apart, so he whacks them, and moves on to start somewhere else.  It’s a familiar story, to anyone who’s ever come from a broken home.  I mean, not with the murder and such, but perhaps that’s why The Stepfather franchise has worked so well.  All stepparents aren’t evil, but Terry certainly illustrates a worst case scenario.  Jill is also on hand as his stepdaughter, foil, and necessary thriller cheesecake (though I’m fairly certain that’s a body double, and, if it isn’t, all the better).  What makes a character like Jerry so dangerous is that, really, who amongst us hasn’t wanted things to be absolutely perfect from time to time?  When you’re talking about ready made families, it’s hard to fit in a mold, let alone make everyone do your bidding.  Terry O’Quinn’s answer?  Kill ‘em all, and let the divorce attorney figure it out.  See it.  It’s worth a bit of your time, though by now everyone knows that Terry is one hell of an actor, and he shines here in his best bad guy role.  (Take THAT Lost!)

See ThatWeirdGirl’s review here.

I'm the Final Girl? That's good, right? She always survives! Right?!

I saw the remake of [REC], Quarantine, long before I saw the original.  While they are both nearly identical (Quarantine is a near shot for shot remake of the Spanish language [REC], there is a raw, urgent quality to the less polished [REC] that is missing from the more expensive remake.  One of the Shaky Cam school of films (the best being District 9, in my opinion) a reporter for an expose show gets more than she bargained for when she follows around the crew at a firehouse one night.  They recieve a call about a woman trapped in her apartment and screams coming from within.  The problem is the old bitch is just a bit more lively than the call let on.  What follows is a nailbiting night of horror that culminates in one of the creepier endings in horror film history.  While some of the acting in this film is uneven (indeed, the actress playing the lead could hire herself out as the shrillest of shrews) the understated special/makeup effects are very much worth seeing.  I very much needed a palate cleanser after Splice, and this was just what the doctor ordered.  See this, and, for me, see the remake as well to see just what differences I’m talking about.

See ThatWeirdGirl’s review here.

Awwww...cute. Kill it. Save us from the rest of this movie.

This will be very short.  I’ve found that most movies that offend my sensibilities in some way are usually poorly made and they go out of their ways to be shocking so that there’s at least something memorable about them.  Splice is not like that.  Splice is a decently made film with fairly well thought out performances and a distinct lack of movie contrivances, making it hard to figure out what’s going to happen next.  That being said, when I finished this film, I looked over at ThatWeirdGirl, and I said, “I think I need a shower after watching that.  I feel dirty”.  I found myself offended to the core and wishing I could invent a time machine just so I could go back in time and prevent myself from seeing this movie.  Do NOT watch this movie.  I’m not even telling you that because it’s a bad film, it’s not.  It’s horrifying, but not in any horror film kind of way.  I’m not even going to go into it.  Just don’t watch it, and consider yourself lucky if you’ve never seen it.  ManWithPez has spoken!

See ThatWeirdGirl’s review here.

The President and The King get ready to TCB, baby. Uh-huh.

You know, when I think of Elvis, I have to say that prior to seeing this film, Bruce Campbell was probably the last person I would have thought of having play him.  Bubba Ho-Tep has shown me the error of my ways.Let’s get the bad out of the way first, shall we?  There’s some editing problems that I’m not certain are entirely mistakes.  Also, loud sound effects and odd twitchy jump cuts will not turn a comedy into a horror film no matter how hard you try.  It’s a little too 90s music video for me.  I would have liked some better music as well.  Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the theme to Bubba Ho-Tep, but that’s all there is.  It’s played a number of ways, but it gets boring fast.  That being said, those miniscule problems cannot cover the brilliance of the performances of our two stars, Bruce Campbell as Elvis Presley and Ossie Davis as John F. Kennedy.  You heard me.  Wonderful actor though he is, you certainly don’t think of Ossie as JFK.  But, this movie makes it work.  Doubly so with Campbell as Elvis.  I don’t know how he did it, but I forget that I’m watching Bruce half the time.  For me, he simply becomes Elvis for an hour and a half.  This movie is glowingly funny, and oddly touching, as you see the camraderie of these two elderly men take hold (Okay, Bruce is made up to look old, and pretty well, too).  Can they defeat the redneck mummy that has held their nursing home in fear’s icy grip?  Can an elderly black actor convince you that he’s actually President John F. Kennedy?  Will we ever get to see the proposed sequel to this film, Bubba Nosferatu?  Who knows?  You’ll just have to watch to find out.  And, you should, because this movie, while made on the cheap, is a ton of fun to watch.

See ThatWeirdGirl’s review here.

I realize that when I put it on, I might look like THIS:

But, I totally feel like THIS:

Hell YEAH!

Hey! Cool cape! Wait a minute! You're not Batman! GET AWAY FROM ME!

Leave it to Stephen King to turn a vampire story on it’s ear.  The Night Flier isn’t one of King’s best efforts, nor is it his worst.  In the pantheon of Stephen King horror adaptations, this one, to me, earns a solid “meh”.  That’s not to say that it’s not worth seeing, because it is.  Based mostly on the performance of the lead actor, Miguel Ferrer.  I swear, ThatWeirdGirl made us review this movie because she’s got the hots for him.  Either way, no one plays dickhead like Miguel Ferrer, and here, he plays King’s oft mentioned tabloid reporter Richard Dees.  Dees is on the hunt for someone who thinks he’s a vampire.  This individual is a pilot, and seems to be hitting all the small mom and pop airports along a certain route.  Now, I ask you, does that sound smart?  Nope.  But neither does following someone who drains the blood of their victims.  Not once does it occur to Dees that perhaps he’s tracking an actual vampire (having apparently never read a Stephen King short story or two).  As Dees draws closer, the audience finds that not everything is kosher, and it all leads up to a final scene that’s actual very startingly scary.  I recommend seeing this one.  It drags through the middle a bit, but so does the King story on which it is based.  The ending is worth it.  Give it a rent and have some fun with it.

See ThatWeirdGirl’s review here.

SQUIRREL!!!

You know, you don’t really forget your first, do you?  Well, I Was A Teenage Werewolf was a first for me.  You see, everytime there was any kind of documentary about either horror films or special effects, I would make certain I was in front of the TV to see it.  And I’ll be damned if every one of them didn’t feature the transformation scene from this film.  So, Michael Landon’s transformation from well coiffed teen heartthrob to only slightly lesser well coiffed ravenous fur covered beast will always be one of my favorites.  The movie it’s featured in, however, is not.  It’s not horrible, it’s just a victim of the time it was born in.  The only watchable thing about it is Michael Landon, and he’s doing the best he can with what he’s given.  Here, he plays Tony, who is so damn angry all the time, that he heads to a shrink, who starts injecting him with some made up bullshit drug or other, and it causes him to get his first real boner.  Unfortunately, it also causes him to sprout fur and fangs.  It’s a superiorly stupid movie, but it’s not without it’s charm.  The werewolf completist in you (Oh, it’s totally in there, too.) will appreciate the oppurtunity to see this piece of monster nostalgia.  Give it a go, but be warned.  This isn’t Shakespeare we’re dealing with.  Hell, it’s not even Iron Eagle we’re dealing with.  I mean, it was bad enough to be featured on MST3K, which should tell you all you need to know.

See ThatWeirdGirl’s review here.