The Descent, to me, is one of the most terrifying films, I’ve ever seen.   My children absolutely love it.  When we starting doing this film short series, they requested that we do a parody of The Descent.  We came up with this one on the fly, but I still love the results.  I hope you like them too.  They were very pleased with this one, mostly because it was shot inside of ten minutes.

Wow....okay, if you guys could just give me a second to deal with the hotness here.

Ah, Tracie Thoms.  You know what…there’s really not a lot I have to say about her, other than she’s absolutely gorgeous, one hell of an actress, and man, can she sing!  Then again, I don’t really have to say much else, do I?

I first noticed Ms. Thoms in Wonderfalls,where she had the plum part of Mahandra.  It’s funny, too, because, if you look around you can find the original pilot to this awesome show, and two people were recast in it.  Tracie Thoms was one, and a friend of hers from Julliard was also recast:  Future Hot Nerd Mancrush Lee Pace.  If you watch the original pilot, you can see just how much these two actors bring to the proceedings, not to mention the wonderful chemistry they, as well as all members of this cast seem to share.  (Not to detract from the other actors they took over for, but Thoms/Pace just seem to fit so much better.)

DAMN!

After that, and a personal favorite of mine, she turned up in Rent playing Joanne.  Any doubts I had about her part not being filled with a returning cast member was blown away from the very first song.  She has a beautiful, clear voice, and more importantly, she knows just how to use it.  Admittedly, it has to be a hard part to play.  A young, feisty, lesbian lawyer who’s a neat freak and completely in love with the wildest woman in the show.  Amazing movie (if not a little depressing, but you know what it’s based on) if you get the chance, you should watch it.  Also, Tracie sings in one of my favorite songs from the show, The Tango Maureen.  Also, though she had tried out for it many time, Tracie was never a part of the actual stage cast of Rent…that is, until a couple of years ago (Yes, two years after she had been in the movie) when she was asked to join the production for several shows, presumably fulfilling a longstanding wish of hers.

Not long after, Robert Rodriguez and Quintin Taratino mounted their experimental throwback film project known collectively as Grindhouse.  Tarantino’s directiorial contribution was Death Proof, and showed he knows how to get effective performances from his cast.  Of course, Stuntman Mike (Kurt Russell) commands this movie, but all the performances are

Probably wouldn't mind if this was the last thing I ever saw.

great…especially spunky stuntwoman driver Kim, as played by Tracie Thoms.  What a movie, and a fantastic performance from Ms. Thoms.  True, some people view it as a little over the top, but, having seen the kind of movies that Grindhouse is a loving homage to, it seems to fit, to me. (Here’s a link to one of the best car chases ever…though…spoilers are included, so, click carefully.  LINK! )

So, there you have it.  Singer, actress…and all around looker, Tracie Thoms!  Frankly, I can’t wait to see her on the screen again!

What's with the scissors? You wrappin' a present or somethin'?

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about hard science horror author(and, according to his website, failed pimp) Scott Sigler’s column at AMCTV about lessons learned from monster hunters.  Well, in case you missed it, his site has a podcast, and he very nicely recorded the entirety of the article there.  So, from the author himself, here it is again in audio form, and a very good author will say my name at the beginning.  Well, it’s my nom de ‘net, but still.  Here’s Scott Sigler’s podcast.  Enjoy!

"Ohhh. So this is how Tim Burton sees the world."

You might not have thought about it, but there’s a tenuous link between the films Sleepy Hollow and Cutthroat Island.  Don’t see it?  That’s okay.  It’s kind of strange.  In Sleepy Hollow, Johnny Depp’s Ichabod Crane gets covered in blood and gore several times throughout the film.  In Cutthroat Island, Matthew Modine gets hit on the head at every oppurtunity.  Why do these things happen?  Because Renny Harlin and Tim Burton are dicks, obviously.  They thought it was funny to torment their actors.  They were right.

Tim Burton’s adaptation of Washington Irving’s The Legend of Sleepy Hollow (or Ichabod Crane…SEE! I’ve read a book!) is kinda true to its source material.  Most of the characters are there.  Depp as Crane, Christina Ricci as Katrina Van Tassel, Christohper Walken and Ray Park as The Headless Horseman.  The movie looks great, I think, with Burton eschewing most of his weirder film elements to make a clean, well paced movie.  Johnny Depp’s performance as Inspector Ichabod Crane is fantastic, as Depp plays him as more Nancy Drew than Sherlock Holmes.  To be fair, Nancy Drew had much more spine than Depp in Sleepy Hollow.

Inspector Ichabod Crane is deliberately sent to the small village of Sleepy Hollow, New York to investigate a series of strange happenings because his belief in science has thoroughly pissed off his contemporaries.  He does so with the most scientific methods (kinda) of the day.  He performs autopsies, he walks the forensic grid, and he clings stubbornly to the belief that science will win in the end.  It won’t.  His host’s daughter Katrina takes a shine to the policeman, and a previous victim’s son, Young Masbeth (Marc Pickering) both help him in his investigation.  But, when things turn supernatural, it’s all Crane can do to keep his sanity, let alone figure out the vast revenge conspiracy behind the legend of The Headless Horseman who decapitates his victims.  There is mystery here, and it’s actually a pretty good one.  Why does The Horseman do what he does?  Trust me, he’s not looking for a new head in this version.

I’m of two minds on this film.  Burton makes a very beautiful, very eerie film here.  The conceit that Ichabod Crane is a police inspector instead of a school teacher is a master stroke.  Unfortunately, in establishing the autumnal feel of the tired village, Burton also lulls me to sleep.  Rarely am I able to stay awake through this movie.  That’s not to say it’s boring!  It’s not.  It’s just that perhaps the ambience is a little too effective.

And, am I the only one, when this was over who wanted to see the continued adventures of Ichabod, Katrina, and Young Masbeth?  Can I get another Ichabod Crane film, please?  It doesn’t even have to be these actors…but I love the concept!

Watch the movie, but be forewarned.  It feels like a Disney film(Which it is, of sorts), but there’s gore and scares aplenty.  Let’s not forget what The Headless Horseman wants from you.

Your virginity…Shit!  Head…I meant head.

What? Too soon?

In a drunken haze last Friday…or Saturday, honestly, I can’t remember that far back, I posted 10 New Ways to Annoy People.  I had so much fun writing it that I’ve decided to try and make it a weekly part of ManWithPez here.  So, here’s 10 NEWER ways to annoy people.  Well, newer by a week.

1.  Take a  6 sided die to a public place and roll it.  Explain to whoever may ask that this is the number of hours you will now talk with your mouth closed.  Make sure your mouth is closed when you say it.

2.  Fake being a celebrity on Twitter.  Be certain no one thinks your intellect has progressed past the age of three.  Also, throw in a lot of racial slurs and sexism. 

3.  Take a baked potato to the movies.  Bring the toppings in little containers so you can apply them after the trailers.

4.  Whenever anyone asks what you do for a living, tell them “Professional Spoonman.” 

5.  Bring a framed picture of Billy Mays to your local bar.  Weep openly, but make certain everyone around you knows that you’ll be okay.

6.  Bring an instrument you have no idea how to play on the bus.  Play it.

7.  No matter what book you have, whenever someone asks you what you’re reading, answer “Necronomicon”.

8.  When you go to church, the first time the preacher says “Amen.” yell out “Booooooring!”

9.  Put on some fangs and head to the local blood drive.  You’ll have to work in the phrase “Hell no, I don’t want to donate!  What do I look like?”

10.  Lease a billboard to advertise a nonexistent cockfight.  Use the word “cock” as much as you possibly can in your ad.

Your very severe host.

Today would be a monumentous occasion, if…you know, they made monuments to yet another shitty popular media website coming up.  Why don’t they do that, I wonder? 

Welcome to ManWithPez.  I’m your host, ManWithPez, not to mention a champion of the obvious.  I’ll be reviewing movies, books, music, and, most likely, hate mail on this site.  I look forward to your opinions, even if I don’t lend them much credence.  Okay, I’ll lend a little.

First, a couple of ground rules.  To quote Eddie Murphy: “Old people who get offended easily…ya’ll should just get the fuck out now.”  There WILL be cursing on this site.  I’ll try to reign it in, but like a horse in a burning barn, it’s always fighting to get out.   I’ll try to work in the realm of public decency, but I probably won’t always succeed.

Next, I like to foster free thinking among people.  Who doesn’t, besides Nazis, Communists, and school teachers?   Feel free to disagree with anything I’ve got to say.  However, try to keep it above the belt.  And, not just on me, but on other commenters who might show up here.  It’s only fair to say that if you’re an intelligent person, you’ve probably reasoned out that your’s is not the only opinion out there.  If you’re criticizing someone, please try to remain civil about it.

Mostly, this site will cover most anything I do to have fun or remain unbored.  If that’s not your particular brand of vodka, I apologize, and the door’s over…huh…where the hell are the exits on the internet?  Well played, internet…well, played.

Lastly, we’re still working on things here at ManWithPez to make it a more aesthetically pleasing experience.  I know what you’re thinking:  “Then get rid of that asshole who’s dancing around in the header.”  As much as I’d like to, I’m just too pretty not to be on the front page.  Sorry.  There will be changes here and there in the future.  Hope you like them.

And, if you don’t…get bent.

Before I go, I’d like to thank my two tireless techs without whom this site wouldn’t be up, what with my coding skills rivaling your typical rabid donkey’s.  Succatash, who pushed the idea (finally) to fruition, and ThatCostumeGirl who…well, besides helping on the site, puts up with my nonsensical ramblings and drunken tirades in person.  Fear for her.  Really.