She don't look that wicked to me.

I apologize for the lateness of the post this week.  The holiday helped me forget my writing duties for the beginning of the week and now, I’m down two posts.  Without further ado here’s Hot Nerd Crush Idina Menzel and James Franco after the jump.

If she had done nothing else but helped created the character of Maureen in Rent, Idina Menzel would forever be stamped on the public consciousness.  Never mind that she’s funny and hot and can sing her ass off.  Every time I see her, I’m pleased anymore.  Of course she won a Tony Award in 2004 for playing the green skinned Elphaba in Wicked (opposite Kristin Chenoweth…Man..that’s a whole lot of hot to put up on one stage!).  I was caught more than a little by surprise when she turned up in Enchanted.  I was more than a little bothered that she didn’t sing.  Patrick Dempsey sang…but not Idina, one of the best singers ever!  Sigh.  She’s married to future Hot Nerd Mancrush Taye Diggs, an excellent actor in his own right, and the two recently had a baby together.  Hmmm…I wonder what kind of beauty this particular mix of genetics will produce.  I’m sure he’ll be just as talented as his parents.

So hot that it's a little scary. Especially to me, who nowhere approaches this level.

James Franco, thank goodness, is more than just a dead character from a movie franchise.  Oh, what’s that?  I just spoiled Spider-Man 3 for you?  No, I didn’t…it was spoiled before I said anything.  James Franco, before Spider-Man was best known for his work in Freaks and Geeks, a show ThatCostumeGirl tells me that I should be ashamed for never having watched.  And, let me say this.  Pineapple Express is one of those movies that you wouldn’t think would be all that funny to people past a certain age…17 in this case, but my mother saw it and thought it was one of the funnier movies ever.  Most of that, according to her, was Franco’s stoner perfect turn as Saul Silver.  Personally, he’s the right mix of pretty, funny, and irreverent that I like immensely, and I can’t wait to see what else he brings us.

It's not fair, there are people who look like him, and I look like me. Sigh.

I would call him America’s favorite smartass, except he’s not American.  He’s a filthy Canadian.  Oh well, at least there’s some type of flaw there!  And, Canada, before you come down here to slit my throat with an ice skate or something, just know this.  I’m not prejudiced of all Canadians.  Just the French ones.  Dirty French-Canadians….you’re just as bad as the real thing, you know!  Anyways, we’ll take a good hard look at Ryan Reynolds’s hard body…of work, you perverts!  Gawd!  Ryan Reynolds after the jump.

I would like to tell you that the first time I noticed Ryan Reynolds was on Two Guys, A Girl, and a Pizza Place (Thanks for the stupid fucking title, ABC), but that wouldn’t be the case.  Since the wily show the X-Files liked to shoot up the frozen wasteland of Canada, they would hire Canadian actors to play smaller parts.  Enter Canadian actor Ryan Reynolds in one of the better (And certaily more unpronouncable) episodes of the entire show, Syzygy.  This would be the episode where a cosmic confluence changes the behavior of an entire town, and two little witch girls are able to control things, if they want them bad enough, and want it together.  Scully smokes, and Mulder almost gets laid…but poor Ryan, he just doesn’t survive the affections of the two girls.

Now, we can talk about Two Guys and a Girl!  I just thought it was funny that he was in an X-Files episode, and there was an episode of TGAAG where they were watching The X-Files, and Sharon threatened to rip Berg’s arm off and hit Pete with it if they didn’t shut up.  Clearly, the writers learned early on who to feed the funniest lines to, but, they would be taking something away from this show, which I liked a lot.  Sure, Ryan stole his share of scenes, but, in truth, they all did.  And, was it me, or was I the only one who had a problem with Berg ending up with crazy cat lady Irene from across the hall?  It doesn’t matter, this is about Ryan Reynolds, and damn if he wasn’t just funny as hell in that show.

I usually don't like 'em furry....Aw, who'm I kiddin'. I wish I, as a person, looked half as good as his damn beard!

After TGAAG, he ended up in Van Wilder, a movie which could clearly see that Ryan Reynolds was one of the premiere smartasses of our times.  After that, he joined the medical profession, apparently, (Much like his character in Two Guys and a Girl…that’s not irony, that’s typecasting!)  Okay, he wasn’t a doctor on Scrubs, but his friends were, and in Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle, he played a nurse who had a hot hypodermic in his pants for Kumar’s brother.  Fun, and funny parts all, but it was in a comic book movie where people, specifically women (and some men) starting paying attention.

Blade:  Trinity, I’m not going to lie to you, was easily the worst of the three Blade movies.  Reynolds’s performance as Hannibal King, however, is one of the few reasons to watch the film.  At first glance it would appear that Mr. Reynolds is simply being himself.  (And, himself was enough to almost come to blows with costar Wesley Snipes)  But, what most people take away from this hot mess of a movie is Hannibal, and how he stood up to a room full of vampires.  With as much sarcasm as possible.

Since the movie credit list is getting out of hand, how about we just go into a few of the better ones…or at least the ones I’ve seen, eh?  Good.  It’s hard to forget the film Waiting, and that’s got little to do with Reynolds’s performance in it.  This movie set off in me, like most people who saw it, a deep seated fear of the food service industry.  It was easy to identify with Reynolds’s role in the film, because who hasn’t been the disillusioned laborer forced to train someone who might take your job someday?  The Nines was…well, it was interesting.  I don’t

Did you think I'd write this and not post a picture of him without a shirt? I don't think he actually owns a shirt.

recommend it, but Ryan’s performance in it was pretty good.  Definitely, Maybe is a movie I can recommend wholeheartedly, as both a divorced father, and a longtime fan of Isla Fisher’s body.  Personally, if you’re looking for a good Ryan Reynolds movie, then you should avoid, at all costs, X-Men Origins:  Wolverine.  It was great casting, as Reynolds plays a the merc with the biggest mouth in the Marvel universe.  And, then, they give him about twenty words to say.  Makes sense to me.  Reynolds made an impression, though, and he has duelling comics movies coming out in 2011.  Deadpool, and Green Lantern.  Yeah, I think we know who’s going to win this matchup.

Whew!  You know, that was harder to write than I thought.  Truth is, whenever I see Ryan Reynolds in a movie, I’m always glad, because I know I’ll get to laugh soon.  He does kinda disgust me.  People who look that good shouldn’t be that funny.  You’re fucking it up for all the rest of the funny people, because most of them are short and dumpy.  Plus, Ryan Reynolds already married Scarlett Johanssen.  You can stop trying so hard, Ryan.  We’ll always love you!

You can see the haunted past...oh wait, no you can't! Smug bastard.

I have thought long at hard about this, but, try as I might, I could not come up with a Mancrush for today’s entry.  So, how about a man of Iron?  Why not Robert Downey Jr?  He’s been in enough nerdbait, and, if he hasn’t, he’s a good enough actor to justify it from a movie nerd’s point of view.  Hot Nerd Mancrush Robert Downey Jr. starts now.

Let’s get the big one out of the way first.  Yes, Robert Downey Jr. played Iron Man, and, with little doubt, he was magnificent in the role.  But it was his complete understanding of Tony Stark as an alcoholic smartass that endeared him to me most.  It doesn’t hurt that he looks great in those expensive suits with a drink in his hand, either, huh?   For me, his best scene is when they show, on the news, the havoc that his weapons have wreaked, and he goes off half cocked to dispense justice.  You can almost feel his guilt, remorse, and anger as he puts the metallic slap down on some terrorist candy ass.   Maybe it’s the way he swaggers in the suit, who knows?  All I know is that Iron Man was one of the best comic book films I’d seen in forever!

When you look at the man, the furthest thing from what pops into your head is probably:  Bully.  But, he played that part very well in one of my favorite comedies, Weird Science.  Then again, you look at him with those clothes and that fucked up hair, and really, what else would he have been.  He’s got one of the hottest girls in the school, and if it wasn’t based on his friendship with Mad Max, it was through sheer bravado.  Dumping an Icee on the head of the competition doesn’t hurt either.

And, if I looked that good in a tux, I wouldn't wear anything else.

I was happy to see him do a turn as a idealistic young lawyer in the film True Believer.  No, it’s not one of the best movies out there, but with Downey as James Woods’s conscience, he plays very well against the weed head scumbag defender. It’s the fresh face, more than anything, I think that gets the point across.  He comes into it knowing the legal system is flawed, but he also knows that everyone, under the constitution deserves defense.  It’s while you watch him become disillusioned that you see that he’s really the only one in the movie that doesn’t seem to be phoning it in.

It would be remiss of me, of course, to write an article on Robert Downey Jr. and not include his awesomely funny turn as Kirk Lazarus in Tropic Thunder.  It’s one thing to appear in a comedy with Jack Black.  It’s another thing entirely to steal an entire movie out from under him, and that’s what Mr. Downey Jr. does in spades (please, God, understand that that wasn’t a racially motivated pun…just a turn of phrase!  I don’t want to get sued or killed!). 

Damn! Sherlock went to the goddamn gym!

I know I’ll get a death threat or two if I don’t mention his Academy Award nominated turn in Chaplin, but, and feel free to run off at the mouth here…I’ve not seen it.  I apologize.  You could also do a lot worse than checking him out in Zodiac, by the way!  I’d go out and buy Chaplin, but I’m saving my money for Iron Man 2 and Sherlock Holmes. (I truly can not wait to see him as Sherlock.  And, I know I’m not alone.)  So, there he is, Mr. Amer…sorry, Robert Downey Jr.  Until the Avengers come out…Excelsior!

LLLLLLLLLLLllllllllllladies!

I asked ThatCostumeGirl who she’d like to see written up as a hot nerd mancrush, and after .03 seconds of thinking she came up with Miguel Ferrer.  Sounds perfect to me.  I don’t think we see enough of this son of Jose Ferrer and Rosemary Clooney myself.  Over the years, he’s amassed quite the nerdbait catalog of films, but there is a film he was in that isn’t for the nerds where he gave a truly terrifying performance.  More on that later.  Hot Nerd Mancrush Miguel Ferrer starts after the jump.

If you’re a nerd, and let’s face it, what else can you be if you’re here reading ManWithPez, then not only have you seen Robocop, you may have even worshipped it.  Ferrer’s coldhearted performance as Bob Morton, head of the Robocop project for Omni Comsumer Products definitely left an impression, and in my recollection, it was the first time in a movie where I was sad to see a reprehensible character punch out.  At least he went out on top…with a room full of cocaine and hookers.  He also gave the best prediction for Robocop while he was still in construction:  “You are gonna be a bad motherfucker!”

Alright, nerds! Here ya go! He was in a Star Trek movie! That should be enough, right there.

Miguel Ferrer, for awhile, was cast as any number of snively characters that at some point, you wanted to see dead.  None moreso than Snyder in DeepStar Six.  This Leviathan knockoff should have been buried save one point…it had Miguel Ferrer in it.  Honestly, any time I try to think about it, I get it confused with Leviathan.  The point here is that when Miguel wants the shotgun, just give him the damn thing.  Teamkiller!

In the brilliant TV series Twin Peaks as socially inept and hopelessly rude, though oddly good at his job FBI forensic pathologist Albert Rosenfield, Ferrer cemented his truly bastard side.  He’s the kind of character that would get into a fistfight in an exam room.  Also, in season 2 of Twin Peaks, Deputy Andy takes a plank to the head and staggers around stunned.  Only one person laughs at him while this occurs.  Care to guess who?

Revenge, starring Kevin Costner is an awesome, though oddly hard to find film.  In it, he nails Anthony Quinn’s wife (Madeline Stowe), and when Quinn finds out, he wreaks an horrible comeupance.  When Kevin Costner tries to get back at Quinn, he finds an ally in Ferrer’s character Amador.  When they raid a whorehouse one night, everyone’s face covered, Ferrer goes to the house madam, takes off his skimask, and delivers this truly chilling line: “If she’s not where you say, I’ll kill you.”  She knows he means business because the mask is off. It’s the kind of thing you’ve heard in movie after movie, but this is the only time that I was actually worried that he was going to come back and kill the actress!  That’s how good the performance is.

Big...BIG pimpin'! Miguel, buddy! You can have Hennessy! Just give me Ming Na! (Sheesh! Greedy much?)

He’s also done some grade A vocal acting as well.  As my singularly favorite Disney villain Shan Yu in Mulan, he was terrifying!  He would stop at nothing to get his goal, as is shown in the film, even child killing.  Go Disney!  And, over on Superman, he was the voice of Aquaman.  The first treatment of the character that wasn’t submoronic.  And, my personal favorite, he played the Martian Manhunter in The New Frontier.  Can’t recommend that one enough, and Jonn Jonnz is one of the better reasons to watch it. 

You can find Miguel Ferrer in any number of places, but the best thing about him is, that you know when you see him, you’re about to watch something great!  He’s just that good.  He’s a pleasure to watch when he’s good, and even better when he’s bad!  (And, before you people start in with the comments about the characters he’s played that I “forgot”, I’m well aware of his performances in The Stand and The Night Flier, Crossing Jordan and Star Trek III, and I think they’re all great, so THERE!)