ManWithPez

The best book you can no longer find.

Richard Bachman is one of my favorite authors, and not the least reason being because (unless you’ve been living in a cave and don’t know) Richard Bachman is Stephen King’s pseudonym.  However, I have a special place in my heart for the books he produced under the Bachman pen name, and indeed, the one that almost was a Bachman book, Misery.  There’s one in particular that you just can’t find anymore, and while the reasoning is sound, it is a shame that you just can’t run out to the store and buy Rage.  I’ll make my case for this misunderstood book after the jump. (more…)

That pretty much sums it up.

The Twilight saga is filled with the pansiest bunch of vampires in the known universe.  And, yes, I’ve read most of Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles.  Just because a vampire is gay doesn’t mean he’s a pansy.  Indeed, Edward Cullen isn’t gay…but he might as well wear a yellow bonnet and go pick some daisies, that’s all I’m saying.  I don’t really understand the attraction to vampires anyways.  They’re DEAD!  In most vampire mythos around the world, not only are they dead, they’re about as interesting as a walking corpse, and they smell like they’re dead as well.  Anyway, here’s a Twilight poke to just piss off the fans, who I think I may dislike more than the source material.  And, don’t worry…there’s so much Twilight hate in the world, that I’ll be back on this subject in no time.  I can’t claim credit for the picture above, by the way.

Ohhh...so that's where rollergirls come from.

I’ve fallen a little behind in my postings.  Perhaps it’s because I’m getting older.  Perhaps it’s because my daughter’s getting older.  Both are reasons to be driven to distraction, but I’m trying to get on top of things again.  I have to say that it was easier to find daddies and their girls than it was to find fathers and sons.  Maybe because the dynamic offers so many ways to be more dramatic.  It’s like my father told me when he found out I was having a daughter “When you have a son, all you have to worry about is that one boy.  When you have a daughter, you have to worry about all the other boys out there.”  Right or wrong,  fathers and daughters in popular media make for compelling viewing.  Some of my favorites after the jump. (more…)

Yo dawg! I head you like bitin' other dawgs. Here ya go!

Being a surly, slightly overweight nerd, I’m certain you’re thinking that I’m about to say “physical confrontation” and the fights I like to avoid.  You’d be wrong this time, however.  Certain groups of people tear into each other verbally or in whatever way, and I just get embarassed or bothered to the point that I can’t BE bothered.   Everyone knows everyone has an opinion or two of their own.  There’s just no need to force it out of most people.  The Fights I Like To Avoid…and why, after the jump. (more…)

Talk back to me again, and you'll be riding high tide, you got that?

Today is my son’s birthday.  In honor of this, I’m going to write a little piece about some of my favorite father/son relationships.  However, as is my wont here at ManWithPez, none of these are what you’d consider traditional father/son relationships, ohhhhh no.  In fact,  only one pair is actually blood related.  Having said that, I think we’ll do without the typical rank structure I usually employ with these types of lists, and just jump in.  Who’s ready?  I know I am, and before I go on…Happy 7th, Alexander.  Daddy is very proud of you.  Fathers and sons after the jump. (more…)

You wish you wrote this good, looked this good, was this cool!

I’m a huge nerd.  I’m fine with that.  Truly!  Anyways, when I was a child of the tender age of 8, I had a book taken from me in class.  That book was Stephen King’s Night Shift.  And really, there isn’t much a better short story collection out there.  The point is that I’m a lifelong Stephen King fan.  And, as presented on this site, Chuck Norris needs someone to fight!  So, why not my favorite author Stephen King!  Stephen King vs Chuck Norris after the jump! (more…)

You come in here trying to take my money?! You get burned.

I like dragons.  There, I’ve said it, and I don’t care what the rest of you think.  As a child, I used to sit and doodle dragons all the time.  I think a lot of us did.  Mine were a little strange, though.  I had all the firebreathing, scaly representations you normally see, but some of mine had dog’s heads and bird’s heads.  I had read that Chinese dragons took all kinds of strange forms, and I drew things like that.  The fish head dragon, I’m happy to say, remains buried for everyone’s sanity.  In doing research for this article, however, I”ve found that the dragon seems to by underrepresented!  So, here’s my personal list of my favorite dragons.  I’m certain you won’t agree with some of these, but feel free to tell me yours!  Dragons, after the jump! (more…)

So...how many dead people are in this picture?

I’ve gone out of my way to try and pester the Twilight set, and for good reason, I think.  That being said, I think True Blood and The Southern Vampire Mysteries are awesome.  Well, season 2 of True Blood was off a bit, but there was enough “What The Fuck” to keep me tuning in.  I’ve read all the books, seen all the episodes, and I think that the people of Bon Temps, Louisiana would be easy to piss off.  Then again, we’re talking about vampires of a distinctly non-sparkly variety, so you might want to tread carefully.  Ten New Ways to Annoy the True Blood People starts after the jump.  Oh…and there are some spoilers here.  Mostly from the books, so watch out. (more…)

I find this horrifying beyond all words. (Except the one's you're reading.)

Picture above brought to my attention by good friend and ManWithPez.com website wrangler Succatash.  This would be one of the changes I’d like to make to the site.  Every so often, I’d like to upset some Twilight fans.  Why?  They’re so damn easy to rile, first thing.  Second, the above statement is 100% true.  Third…I just really fucking hate it.  Look for a Twilight Poke every so often here.  And remember this one thing…Vampires do not fucking sparkle, unless you’ve just hit them with spray-on glitter as a tool to set them on fire. 

Twilight sucks.  And not in a good way.

Shifty eyed manservants! No wonder they're always being accused of crimes!

Butlers throughout fiction are know for their discretion, their reserve, and their work ethic.  Being good at all these thing doesn’t necessarily mean a good butler, since on the whole, it’s a butler that gives his master a comeuppance of some kind that most people seem to like.  The good thing about this list is that there are so many butlers in all forms of media that I can just keep writing about them if I like.  So, don’t be surprised if I’m quite lazy one day and produce a second part to this list when I can’t think of anything else to do.  Or rather, my manservant can’t come up with one.  (That’s my motto:  Blame the help!)  The best butlers after the jump! (more…)