ManWithPez

Yo dawg! I head you like bitin' other dawgs. Here ya go!

Being a surly, slightly overweight nerd, I’m certain you’re thinking that I’m about to say “physical confrontation” and the fights I like to avoid.  You’d be wrong this time, however.  Certain groups of people tear into each other verbally or in whatever way, and I just get embarassed or bothered to the point that I can’t BE bothered.   Everyone knows everyone has an opinion or two of their own.  There’s just no need to force it out of most people.  The Fights I Like To Avoid…and why, after the jump. (more…)

Look at her! She's just begging to be annoyed!

Yes, yes, children are little people too.  Little, loud, snotty, annoying people, too.  I oughta know!  I’ve helped created two of them!  And, it just so happens that their birthdays are forthcoming.  So, get ready to see a post or two devoted to them.  Children annoy me so much that I think of it as a public service to help other in finding ways to bug the little turd droppers.  Now, tread carefully here.  Invariably, you will be called immature for trying to get under the skin of someone much younger than you.  Screw that!  As far as I’m concerned, they have it coming, what with they’re trying to figure out how the world works and their innate curiosity.  The NERVE!  Ten New Ways to Annoy the young after the jump. (more…)

Please...just say one of these phrases around me, and this is the scene that plays in my head.

ThatCostumeGirl read my last list of abusings of the English language and reminded me that I forgot a couple.   Turns out that I’m just a hate filled machine that basically dislikes everyone’s words that aren’t mine.  And, I stand by that.  Like I’ve said before, if you use any of these, I don’t mean to anger you, and I wouldn’t say anything to you, but inside, I’d be as clenched as a hermorrhoidic cocaine user who just sat on a hedgehog.  Angering words and phrases after the jump! (more…)

Photo from the "Shut Your Damn Mouth" school of conflict resolution.

This is my blog.  There are many like it, but this one is mine.  Therefore, I’m going to air some old aggravations on it.  Now, if you use any of the phrases or words I’m about to ridicule, don’t worry.  I already know that much of what I say could be called into like scrutiny, and I’m fine with that.  Also, when I hear these things, I roll with it.  Just know that deep within me, my nerd teeth are gnashing much like a rabid beaver when they’ve got ahold of a particularly nasty bit of wood.  What pisses me off after the jump! (more…)

So...how many dead people are in this picture?

I’ve gone out of my way to try and pester the Twilight set, and for good reason, I think.  That being said, I think True Blood and The Southern Vampire Mysteries are awesome.  Well, season 2 of True Blood was off a bit, but there was enough “What The Fuck” to keep me tuning in.  I’ve read all the books, seen all the episodes, and I think that the people of Bon Temps, Louisiana would be easy to piss off.  Then again, we’re talking about vampires of a distinctly non-sparkly variety, so you might want to tread carefully.  Ten New Ways to Annoy the True Blood People starts after the jump.  Oh…and there are some spoilers here.  Mostly from the books, so watch out. (more…)

You KNOW you're annoyed when you point at your own phone!

Let’s annoy everyone!  Come on!  It’s easy, and it’s fun!  Just like using an EZ-Bake oven…except this actually works.  I myself have been annoyed several times in the last week, but we’ll see how much of it I can filter out for my list this week.  Which is late, sorry for the annoyance.  Ten New Ways to Annoy People after the jump! (more…)

It's Curtains for you, see! Curtains!

No, I don’t mean for the items in this list to be sung, though you should feel free to string them together.  If some enterprising musician wishes to, they have my blessing.  And then we’ll start the national tour of Annoyance:  The Musical, with it’s opening number The Most Annoying Writer In The World.  I’d pay to see that.  Actually, I’m already paying to see that, as no one’s handing out money for writing ManWithPez.  Hint.  Again. This list is actually about different musicals.  And, yes, there are spoilers for some of them, so unless you want to know, you might want to avoid this list.  Fifteen New Ways to Annoy People after the jump. (more…)

At least this sign offers preparation. Most people, alas, do not.

Ah, every week, you’d think it’d be harder and harder to come up with ways to annoy the populace at large, and honestly, you’d be right.  Then again, I’m easily annoyed myself, so, I always seem to have what I need right at hand.  I don’t know that I would actually try any of the stuff I suggest, because most of it, while annoying, will probably land you in jail, for at least a day, if not longer.  Never let be said that I said annoying the cops was a good idea.  Ten new ways to annoy people after the jump. (more…)

Sound advice, for all you people who read these lists for instructive purposes.

I was going to do away with this weekly column when I decided that things needed to be changed a bit at ManWithPez.  Mostly because they’re so easy to write.  I figured if they’re easy to write, no one’s reading them.  Turns out, I was wrong.  Of course the benchmark has always been The Ex-Girlfriend Edition, but I suspect it was the tits on the side that pulled people into that one.  That’s how I am, however.  I suspect tits of being responsible for a lot of things!  Ten newest ways to annoy people after the jump. (more…)

I imagined Satan being somewhat less...annoying.

Suffice it to say that the Annoyance list from last week was one of my more successful articles, thanks in part to the intelligence of my ex-girlfriend.  The picture of her rack probably didn’t hurt matters either.  Unfortunately, I have no such goodies to offer.  (Oooooh…and they were good, trust me.)  So, I’ll have to get by on my own.  Sucks to be you, six readers!  (Hi, Mrs. Nelson…first grade teacher!)  Ten new ways to annoy people starts after the jump. (more…)