Ten New Ways to Annoy…ME!Tuesday, August 24th, 2010
I shouldn’t be doing this. I’m letting you all peek under tha armor a little too much this time. Then again, anyone who has read this site much probably knows all about how to annoy the living hell out of me. Here’s a list concerning the things you might not have seen yet.
1. Divorce me. Come on! All the cool kids are doing it!
2. Turns the pages in a book I own too roughly. The future librarian in me is just waiting to hit you with a ruler.
3. Insist that animation is not a viable form of entertainment for an adult. What are you? A child?
4. Ask me to explain Firefly to you. I just don’t think I can answer that question anymore.
5. Improperly load a Pez dispenser. Is ManWithPez gonna have to choke a bitch?
6. Insist that Americans are lazy, oafish, obese, stupid, loud assholes. Of course we are! We rule this fucking planet. How would you be?
7. Make the following statement: “I just don’t watch TV.” Shut your lying ass up! This is only a viable thing to say if you don’t own a television. Otherwise, you’re just preening for the masses. Let me know how the new Dancing with the Stars turns out, okay?
8. Be a child that I didn’t father. I’m sorry…I know it’s horrible, but that’s just the way it is.
9. Stand me up. Ladies, I’m looking at you. Not anyone in particular. All of you!
10. Be Tobey Maguire. He just irks me.
There. That’s how you can annoy me. Imagine it.
It’s pretty easy if you try.