Chuck Norris vs Old Age
Friday, March 19th, 2010
The only job that Chuck's past career has prepared him for.
The constant butt of jokes around here Chuck Norris reached the age of 70 last week, and there’s no reason we should stop making fun of him. I mean, what’s he going to do? Slap me with his walker (Texas Ranger)? Heh. It would appear that Chuck has come up against an adversary that he can’t simply kick into submission. So, as we all fall to the enemy that is time, let’s take a look at how Chuck will deal with this particular bad guy who isn’t a motorcycle thug or a ninja. Chuck vs. Old Age after the jump.
1. Wal-Mart refused to hire Chuck as a door greeter, citing that roundhouse kicks, no matter how slow at his age, do not get across the idea of savings.
2. Chuck Norris = 70. Chuck Norris’s beard = 89. Something’s not right there.
3. Walker: Florida Ranger just doesn’t have the same ring as Texas Ranger, huh?
4. The only use Chuck Norris has for his martial arts skills these days? Pulverizing food into a paste so that his dentures can handle it.
5. Chuck Norris doesn’t take Geritol! Geritol takes Chuck Norris.
6. Chuck Norris has secretly converted his Total Gym into a state of the art wheelchair.
7. One good thing I’ll say about the shape Chuck Norris is in: He’s almost always first to the early bird buffet at Golden Corral. None of the other seniors want to risk a boot to the face for the first yeast rolls.
8. Chuck Norris finally had to check into a nursing home. The reason? It was the only place that still carried his beard medication.
9. Chuck Norris is finally as old as the constituency that actually watches Walker: Texas Ranger!
10. Silent Rage was the title of a film Chuck Norris was in. It’s also the emotion he feels about having to wear an adult diaper.
Tags: Age, Chuck Norris, List, Nerd
Posted on July 6th, 2011 at 6:30 am
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