The Fights I Like To Avoid
Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010
Yo dawg! I head you like bitin' other dawgs. Here ya go!
Being a surly, slightly overweight nerd, I’m certain you’re thinking that I’m about to say “physical confrontation” and the fights I like to avoid. You’d be wrong this time, however. Certain groups of people tear into each other verbally or in whatever way, and I just get embarassed or bothered to the point that I can’t BE bothered. Everyone knows everyone has an opinion or two of their own. There’s just no need to force it out of most people. The Fights I Like To Avoid…and why, after the jump.
1. Movie Nerds vs. Book Purists – Of all the dumbass confrontations you can encounter, this may be the one that you actually accidentally find yourself embroiled in. And, it’s just so damn stupid. Books have more detail? No shit. Movies get to the point quicker? Sure, sometimes they do. In the end, I guess it matters what kind of person you are. Do you like to read more than you like to watch? There are merits to both artforms, and arguing about that is just plain unintelligent. Plus, it leads people to say shit like “I don’t watch TV.” Why do you want to look me in the face and lie to me. When your nose isn’t buried in that book, you’re watching American Idol or something equally retarded, I’m certain. And, movie nerds…It’s not going to hurt you to read a goddamn book, trust me. I leave this one on this point. Reading about an explosion can be cool, yes…but everyone, EVERYONE loves to see shit blow up. It’s in our very nature as human beings.
2. God/Allah/Buddha/Atheism, etc vs Everyone Who Isn’t Me – And, that’s really what this argument boils down to. I don’t like you, so my diety doesn’t like you. It’s just another way to be inclusionary, or exclusionary. I don’t know what lies beyond this mortal coil, and you don’t either. If you consider yourself an enlightened person, you have to be open to the fact that A)Not everyone believes as you do, and B) You don’t know everything, especially when it comes to matters of pure belief. People get shot and exploded “debating” this particular item, but when I hear an Atheist throwing down with a TurboChristian, I tune it out. Just like I don’t know what’s going on in your head, you don’t know whether or not what I believe in is true or not, and no amount of evidence is really, really ever going to change someone’s mind. If it makes someone happy, why fight it, I say.
3. Women vs Men – I get hot under the collar about this one. I don’t mind if you’re better than me in some way. I promise you that there is someone out there that is better than you, not matter the gender, in some way or another. I don’t mind conceding that there’s assorted women out there that are better than me, or can accomplish more than me in almost any regard. Where this argument starts to chafe me is one gender’s supposition that one is better than the other. And the frequency with which people attempt to win this argument based on that supposition is disgusting. Come on people now, smile on your brother (or sister). Which leads me to the next item…
4. Race vs Race – I was going to say Race vs White, but since I’ve seen this argument go so many ways, in so many diverging paths, it wouldn’t be fair to say that, now would it? Like with Men vs Women, why do people have such a hard time believing that people, on the whole, are capable of doing almost anything. Good or bad. The way I like to see this is that you should give everyone a chance. As soon as that chance turns into opportunity, smile…you’ve done something good. As soon as a chance becomes something insidious or evil, then it should become incumbent on us as human beings to take it away. From INDIVIDUALS. If you can’t judge a person based on their own merits AND their personal downfalls without it becoming a race war, what does that say about you as a person? I can’t say, categorically, but I’m pretty certain it’s something that sounds really, really stupid.
5. Republican vs Democrat – Politics makes me sleepy. Know why? It’s fucking boring! Nothing against people who incessantly debate politics until the very argument their making sounds…oh, I don’t know…roughly Forrest Gump level. This one, like religion, hinges people’s inability to believe in other people’s beliefs. I’m not saying you should believe what they believe. I’m just saying that other people’s beliefs aren’t necessarily wrong because they aren’t yours. In my nearly 35 years on this planet, people’s personal politics have effected me…well, not at all. Just as mine haven’t really determined their course of events. And, I’m kinda happy that way, even if I can understand why other people aren’t.
I think I’ll call this one early. It’s not my intention to piss anyone off. It’s just that, after awhile, I get tired of people arguing over subjective things, things that you entirely up to point of view, and claiming that the other people’s beliefs are wrong. Look, my daughter believes in Santa Claus…I’m not ready to drop that particular spoiler on her just yet, even though, yes, she’s wrong. I don’t care if the other person believes that pogo sticks are the next reliable form of transportation. I don’t care that you think this website sucks! (It doesn’t, for the record, but I’ve already got your hit in my stats. Thank you, come again!) If we can’t get along…and trust me, I think we’re doing alright (people should be surprised that things work as well as they do, not focus on what doesn’t work), then why don’t we burn the whole motherfucker down, huh? Who’s with me? I got a book of matches and some gasoline right here!
Well, actually, I have a cucumber melon scented candle, but you catch my drift, right?
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