ManWithPez

You come in here trying to take my money?! You get burned.

I like dragons.  There, I’ve said it, and I don’t care what the rest of you think.  As a child, I used to sit and doodle dragons all the time.  I think a lot of us did.  Mine were a little strange, though.  I had all the firebreathing, scaly representations you normally see, but some of mine had dog’s heads and bird’s heads.  I had read that Chinese dragons took all kinds of strange forms, and I drew things like that.  The fish head dragon, I’m happy to say, remains buried for everyone’s sanity.  In doing research for this article, however, I”ve found that the dragon seems to by underrepresented!  So, here’s my personal list of my favorite dragons.  I’m certain you won’t agree with some of these, but feel free to tell me yours!  Dragons, after the jump!

Presenting the gayest dragon, ever! What? He's got pink hair for cryin' out loud!

1o.  Elliott (Pete’s Dragon) – Might as well put the weakest one of the bunch here first.  I’m not a huge fan of this movie.  I was forced to watch it as a child several times.  I don’t like the songs.  Does any film really need a musical number called “Passamaquaddy”?  Or, however it’s spelled?   That being said, the movie really is awesome at blending real life and animation.  It’s just never going to be one of my favorites.  As a kid, I did like Elliott, though.  I mean, who wouldn’t want a dragon looking after them?  Elliott sits at number ten, and I’m okay with that.

Get the hell off me!

9.  Saphira (Eragon) – I could jump in line and say how much Eragon sucks.  Truth is, it does.  The book AND the movie.  Having said that, I would also tell you to read it.  Why?  It’s a huge mishmash of nerd love, and Christopher Paolini’s love of his geek upbringing shines on every page.  Not original in the least, but surprising, and not just because it was written by a 15 year old.  The movie is another matter.  There is something interesting about the blue scaled Saphira.  She’s a young, adolescent dragon, prone to hotheadedness (heh), and mistakes.  It’s not something you usually see in this type of literature.  So, she’s on my list, if for no other reason than her trial and error tact in growing up.  Oh…and the second book is much, much improved over the first.

Aww...he's so fugly he's cute! Wait? He's HOW big again?

8.  Falcor (The Neverending Story) – He’s the image you hold with you most after viewing The Neverending Story.  A giant, white, scaly, flying dog!  As Falcor explains, he’s a luck dragon, and he’s on this list (The Neverending Story is an okay movie, but I don’t own it, and have no plans to.) because he’s such a strange looking entry.  He doesn’t look like a traditional dragon, and indeed, I remember watching the movie just waiting for the next scene he’d show up in!  Man.  I hope any hardcore nerds reading this article haven’t given up because of wimpy dragons at the top of the list!  Falcor at eight, and if you remember The Neverending Story as being a good movie when you saw it as a kid…I’d leave it at that.

Heat your lunch up for you, Mr. Potter?

7.  The Hungarian Horntail (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire) – Regardless if you liked the movie or not, you have to admit that Harry’s confrontation with this dragon as part of the Tri-Wizard Tournament was pretty thrilling.  It was hyped as being a very savage, dangerous thing, and when we got to see it, it delivered!  Spouting flame, snarling, jumping it’s chain to get at Harry, I almost hoped the damn thing would get him!  It’s only this low on the list because beyond its savagery it really had no personality.  It was a mindless destructive beast, but man, was it cool to watch!

If ever a dragon needed killing, it's this one.

6.  The Bull (Reign of Fire) – No matter what you think about this movie (and honestly, it could have been better executed), the dragons were pretty badass.  Towards the end of the film you find out that there is only one male, and it’s intelligent!  He demonstrates this by eating Matthew McConnaghey, which, in restrospect, probably wasn’t the smartest thing he could’ve done.  I imagine he tastes kinda nasty.   The Bull is roughly three times bigger than any other dragon we’ve seen in the movie, and twice as dangerous.  So, it’s no wonder that it takes Batman…excuse me, Christian Bale to take him down.  If you’ve not seen this movie, I’d give it a look.

If I had five heads, I'd argue with myself constantly.

5.  Tiamat (Dungeons and Dragons) – The overarching villain, if I recall correctly, in the animated series Dungeons and Dragons was a five headed female dragon named Tiamat.  Our heroes were forever in fear of her, and she only showed up a handful of times.  I don’t really remember that much about her, other than she looks badass!  She can’t have been all that, really, though, because she continuously failed to kill a group of teenagers and their baby unicorn!  I bet Tiamat knows how all the bad guys on Scooby Doo felt, huh?

Pfft...Showoff.

4.  Draco (Dragonheart) – I’m not going to lie to you…Dragonheart is not a good film.  Too violent for kids, and too stupid for adults.  There is something comforting about the old Draco, though.  Perhaps it’s when he’s singing, with Sean Connery’s baritone coming out.  Perhaps it’s his playfulness, as he overacts whenever he’s pretending to have been speared.  Like I’ve said, the movie isn’t all that great, but Draco is a good reason to give it a look.  He was a pretty significant technical achievement, back in the day!

He's travel sized for your convenience!

3.  Mushu (Mulan) – A nondangerous, animated dragon in the top 5?  Hell yes when we’re talking about the Eddie Murphy voiced dragon Mushu!  In Mr. Murphy’s finest voicework (Take THAT Donkey!) Mushu is imbued with a sense of fun and earnestness.  The scene where Mulan first encounters her dragon is one of the funniest things you’ll ever see, as well as Mushu’s interactions with the rest of Mulan’s sidekicks:  Her horse (which he constantly refers to as a cow), and her lucky cricket (Who seems intent on having his say around the loudmouthed dragon, no matter what).  This really was one of Disney’s better outings, I’ve always thought.  And, as Mike (Nick Frost) said on Spaced, it’s the third funniest performance of Eddie’s career!

See what happens when you don't give up the virgins?

2.  Vermithrax Perjorative (Dragonslayer) – ThatCostumeGirl is a big fan of this movie, so we gave it a look recently.  It holds up remarkably well!   The slow buildup to the dragon is not unlike watching Jaws!  You don’t get to see very much of her until the end.  She lives in a lake of fire, though!  How cool is THAT shit?  In the end, she’s an almost unstoppable force, and the way she’s dealt with (The movie is called Dragonslayer, after all…though we find out that’s actually the name of a weapon) is pretty imaginative.  ThatCostumeGirl and I think this movie would be an excellent candidate for a remake, if anyone’s listening?

Aww...the poor guy just wants his belly scratched!

1.  Smaug (The Hobbit) – As a child, whenever I watched the Rankin/Bass animated production of The Hobbit, I remember being terrified of the goblins, but not at all of the wretched worm, Smaug.  That changed when I read the book.  If you’ve done neither, you really should!  It’s the dragon’s worldweary attitude that earns him the number one spot here.  And, when Smaug gives you a warning, you better believe that he means to see it through.  Sure, he kinda goes out like a bitch, but, until then, he’s simply an old badass under the mountain.  When he boasts about himself, it’s hard not to just take him at his word for everything he says!  Smaug!  I can’t wait to see what you look like in the new movie.  A Guillermo Del Toro Smaug?  Yes, please!

Before I go, I’d like to offer up an honorable mention to Shen-ron, the dragon from Dragonball Z.  His voice alone makes him a badass!  However, if he did more than just take up space and hand out wishes, he’d totally be on the list, I promise!

There’s my personal ten, and for all the works they appear in, I’m really reading or watching waiting for the dragons!  Sure, the list is a little light on the back five, but they add a lot to the works they appear in.  In some cases on this list, the dragon is the only reason to check them out! 

No reluctant dragons, here!

Tags: Dragons, List, Nerd

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 17th, 2010 at 2:16 pm and is filed under Books, Cartoons, Movies, Television, Top Ten. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.