Sigourney Weaver vs. Chuck Norris
Friday, February 5th, 2010
Reference for #2 down on that list. I'll say it again...DAMN!!!
Damn! Go a week without kicking Chuck Norris’s ass, and people will notice. So, here it is, because YOU demanded it! You know…I just hadn’t noticed that we hadn’t had a woman fight Chuck Norris on one of these outings. Actually, that’s not true. A lot of thought went into picking who was going to take on Chuck’s brawn and beard this week. I could’ve gone with any old piece of nerdbait cheesecake(mmmm…cheesecake). But, instead, I decided to go with a badass chick that none of us can deny. Sigourney Weaver vs Chuck Norris after the jump.
1. Chuck Norris and his beard vs Ellen Ripley and her powerloader? Gee…let me think.
2. Did you see her in Galaxy Quest? Damn!
3. Sigourney Weaver played the Gatekeeper. Who summoned Ivo Shandor. Who summoned Gozer, The Destructor. That’s right. Chuck Norris would be taking on someone who could summon the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man!
4. I saw a whole movie where she tortured Ghandi. That’s chutzpah, my friends!
5. Arguably, Sigourney Weaver has been in some crappy movies, but still manages to come out looking and acting great. Chuck Norris can only make the first claim (Seriously…has he ever been in a GOOD movie?).
6. Sigourney Weaver: The coolest ship’s voice since Majel Barrett, period.
7. Could you see Chuck Norris even trying to fight Katherine Parker from Working Girl? I can’t even wrap my mind around the world of shit Chuck would be in!
8. There are only two performances in the highest grossing movie of all time, Avatar, that are worth seeing. Zoe Saldana’s the other one.
9. Gorillas in the Mist. That’s right. Sigourney Weaver has a an army of mountain gorillas at her disposal. Chuck Norris has the senior citizen set that are STILL huge fans of Walker: Texas Ranger. I’m going with gorillas in this fight.
10. Let me ask you which sequel you’d rather see: Avatar 2, or Ghostbusters 3? Sigourney Weaver wins either way, so she doesn’t care!
Tags: Chuck Norris, List, Nerd
Posted on February 5th, 2010 at 12:21 pm
In regards to #5…might I suggest Dodgeball or Sidekicks. I loved Sidekicks as a kid. Slight (huge) crush on Jonathan Brandis at the time.
Posted on February 5th, 2010 at 4:42 pm
I’ve got nothing to say about Sidekicks, because I can’t say anything nice. However, I should have said STARRED in instead of simply appearing in. I love Dodgeball! I think it’s awesome, and I think his appearance in it was fantastic.