Ten New Ways to Annoy People: Dress Up!
Wednesday, January 27th, 2010
You KNOW you're annoyed when you point at your own phone!
Let’s annoy everyone! Come on! It’s easy, and it’s fun! Just like using an EZ-Bake oven…except this actually works. I myself have been annoyed several times in the last week, but we’ll see how much of it I can filter out for my list this week. Which is late, sorry for the annoyance. Ten New Ways to Annoy People after the jump!
1. Write your annoyance list a day late. People love that!
2. Facebook. I’ve nothing to add. It just annoys the hell out of me.
3. When one of your Lost fan friends decides to host a season premiere viewing party, show up in a HUGE polar bear costume. Make certain everyone understands that you’ve never seen Lost and that you dress like that everyday.
4. Schedule a job interview with a mortician. Come dressed as Dr. Herbert West, complete with a syringe filled with a glowing green liquid. Bonus points if you don’t get kicked out in the first thirty seconds.
5. The next time you’re on a bus, warn the driver that they shouldn’t drop below 50MPH, lest something “awful” happen.
6. When in church, sing along with the hymn, but replace the lyrics with Denis Leary’s “Asshole“. See if you can drown out everyone else.
7. If you should happen to walk past a construction site, yell out to the workers that they’re supposed to be building this city on rock and roll.
8. Build a Stargate in your driveway. Dare someone to drive through it.
9. At the next family reunion, come dressed as a member of Gwar. Act as though it’s nothing special.
10. The next time you see someone buying those joke lottery tickets in a store, stop and make that person eat about ten of them. Before they stick the next one in their mouth, remind them that “Yes! This one’s a winner too! Eat it! Eat the singularly unfunniest joke in history!”
There you go! Ten more for you. Actually, I think this list might be more criminal than some in the past. Tread carefully!
Leave a Comment