ManWithPez

Helllllo ladies!

This one is entirely for the film nerds.  My second favorite actor of all time (Don’t ask), I think is a perfect candidate to bring some class to the proceedings:  Cary Grant.  Now, whether or not he was gay is up to debate.  Personally, I don’t think so.  I don’t care either way.  Sexual orientation is not a precursor to the beating of Chuck Norris’s ass.  Either way, Chuck’s goin’ down. (heh).  Cary Grant vs Chuck Norris after the jump!

1.  When Chuck Norris falls out of a boat, he doesn’t get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.  Then it needs to be superfiltered to be used again.  When Cary Grant falls out of a boat, he doesn’t get wet, the water gets Cary Grant.  And then it can be sold for $4 a bottle.

2.  In Bringing Up Baby, Cary Grant played a bumbling nerd scientist.  He still got the girl.  Cary Grant: showing nerds how to do it for 5 decades!

3.  The beating that Chuck took at the hands of Bruce Lee in Way of the Dragon?  Bruce was sick that day.  That was Cary Grant wearing a Bruce Lee mask.

4.  Cary Grant invented the game of Dodgeball as a way to escape his hordes of overwrought female fans.

5.  Chuck Norris did NOT invent the move where he makes a woman climax by pointing at her and saying “Booyah.”  Cary Grant perfected that move in the thirties.  Only, all he had to say was “Judy.”

6.  Cary Grant lived with Randolph Scott for years, fostering rumor of his sexuality.  He still managed to become an international sex symbol.  For everybody!   Simply because there’s no one out there that can look at him and say “No thanks, not my type.”

7.  Cary Grant’s chin vs. Chuck Norris’s beard.  You tell me who wins that one?

8.  Cary Grant worked with some of the best directors of all time, including Hitchcock, Capra, etc.  The only person that found working with Chuck Norris acceptable was Chuck Norris.

9.  Cary Grant has a statue.  You heard me right…a statue dedicated to him in England where he was born.  Chuck Norris has an action figure from the shitty cartoon he was in.

10.  Cary Grant saved our asses in WWII more than once and made out with Grace Kelly!  Well, at least he did in the movies.  What has Chuck Norris done?  Defend a Houston Burger King from a roving motorcycle gang or some such crap on Walker:  Texas Ranger?  Points to Cary Grant!

Tags: Cary Grant, Chuck Norris, List, Nerd

This entry was posted on Friday, January 8th, 2010 at 11:19 am and is filed under Versus. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.