ManWithPez

I imagined Satan being somewhat less...annoying.

Suffice it to say that the Annoyance list from last week was one of my more successful articles, thanks in part to the intelligence of my ex-girlfriend.  The picture of her rack probably didn’t hurt matters either.  Unfortunately, I have no such goodies to offer.  (Oooooh…and they were good, trust me.)  So, I’ll have to get by on my own.  Sucks to be you, six readers!  (Hi, Mrs. Nelson…first grade teacher!)  Ten new ways to annoy people starts after the jump.

1.  Buy a beret, shave your head, and glue the remains of your hair to your face to give yourself a walrus like appearance.  Insist to everyone you see that you are, in fact, Mythbuster Jamie Hyneman.

2.  The next time you’re in church, and the preacher starts talking about the Holy Ghost, start humming The X-Files theme music.

3.  Make a scene about a screwed up order at McDonalds.  When the employees ask if you want to see the manager, say “Fuck no!  Bring me that asshole Ronald, NOW!”

4.  Shop for your groceries on rollerskates.  At top speed.

5.  Go to a job interview dressed as your favorite cast member of The Rocky Horror Picture Show.  Try to hurry things along because you’ve “…got somewhere to be.”  Bonus points if you can get your interviewer to do The Time Warp.

6.  Crash a local prom and see if you can control the room through telekinesis just like Carrie White.

7.  Go to a liquor store completely drunk, walk emptyhanded up to the cashier, and yell “Too late!” right in their face.

8.  Next time you see someone walking their dog, run up and pet it, telling the owner that they should see your dog.  When they ask what kind of dog you have, say “Oh, I don’t have a dog.”  Repeat as often as necessary.

9.  For an entire day, talk like you’re in a noir detective movie.  Bonus points if you say the word “Gams” in earshot of a feminist.

10.  Go to Christmas Eve at your family’s house dressed like Michael Myers (From Halloween, not Austin Powers).  Stay in character no matter what.

Tags: List, Nerd

This entry was posted on Friday, December 18th, 2009 at 12:00 pm and is filed under Annoyance. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.