ManWithPez

Joss prepares the move with which he will DOMINATE Chuck Norris!

Okay, it’s fanservice of the Nth degree here, but, damn it, I’m a huge fan of Joss Whedon.  I’m a fan of Chuck’s too, as I’ve pointed out before, but, Chuck Norris is brawn(x)brawn, and the nerds out there who have created this image for him (ready made for the frat boys out there, yeah?) need an actual representation of ourselves to take on Chuck.  With that in mind, here’s a list about Joss Whedon taking on The Beard…Sorry…Chuck Norris.

1.  Joss Whedon actually wrote the script to Invasion USA.  It was the Gone With The Wind of American invasion scripts.  Chuck Norris rejected it in favor of the crap that got filmed.  Thus began Chuck Norris’s downward spiral.

2.  Joss Whedon can time travel!  It’s true!  All the books you’ve read and loved throughout history (except for that piece of shit, Twilight) he actually wrote.

3.  Chuck Norris was a huge fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  That’s why Joss killed her in the first season.

4.  The Emmy that Joss got for Dr. Horrible’s Sing-A-Long Blog (Along with his brothers and sister-in-law)?  He uses it to crush the skulls of actors who blow their lines.  They really don’t mind.

5.  Chuck Norris actually auditioned for Firefly.  Joss Whedon could be heard laughing for weeks afterward.

6.  Joss Whedon is known in Hollywood as “The Only Writer To Please Roseanne Barr”.  This has made him legend!

7.  The episode of Walker:  Texas Ranger where Haley Joel Osment reveals he has AIDS?  Joss Whedon wrote that as a joke.  He was as shocked as the rest of America when they actually filmed that bullshit!

8.  Joss Whedon:  Break Dance Champion of Beverly Hills for 8 years running!

9.  A simple formula for you:  Chuck Norris + Beard = Awesome.  Joss Whedon + Beard x Talent (squared) = WIN!  (The math is just that easy.)

10.  The reason that Joss keeps going back to Fox?  They have actually given him half the planet, and an option on remaking The Matrix trilogy so that it doesn’t suck.  You’re actually living on Joss Whedon’s land right now.  Not certain about those Matrix movies yet.

Tags: Chuck Norris, List

This entry was posted on Friday, November 13th, 2009 at 7:00 am and is filed under Celebrity, Internet. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.