The Shape (Of William Shatner)
Wednesday, October 28th, 2009
Michael prepares to have a discussion with Laurie in regards to wire hangers.
John Carpenter’s Halloween is one of my favorite films, screw the genre! It’s dark, it’s scary, and it’s entertaining without having to go light on the terror. It just goes to show you what you can do with a little ingenuity and a spray painted William Shatner mask.
Several years ago, little boy Michael Myers goes suddenly monkeyshit and kills his sister with a fucking knife bigger than he is. That’s a shame too, because she was rocking a hell of a set…of lungs. He’s sent to the nuthouse under the care of Dr. Sam Loomis (Donald Pleasance), who recognizes that the little shit is pure evil, plain and simple. For years, he’s been petitioning for keeping Michael in the skullfarm. Catching everyone offguard one night, Michael busts out of the head hospital and makes a beeline for his old hometown, stealing some coveralls, a mask, some knives and his sister’s headstone while he’s at it.
Loomis follows him, but Michael becomes fixated on young Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis, also with a great set of lungs…for screaming!) and begins taking out her friends until he gets closer and closer to her. Why he’s after her is not explained in this film, but we’ll get to that in the next review.
The look of this movie is odd. It’s supposed to take place in Haddonfield, Illinois on Halloween, but the trees are green as can be. Of course, it was filmed in the summer, so the dead leaves you see on the ground are actually construction paper. How can this be made to feel like fall? I don’t know, but it works. Maybe it’s the warm glow in the all the daylight scenes, or that most of the film takes place at night, with Carpenter’s creepiest (and best) film score churning along. It all works, though.
There is a touchy subject that I want to talk about in this movie, and I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea. I do not suffer from this affliction, nor am I a teenage boy (obsession with boobs notwithstanding). Why do all the men in sex scenes in this movie (all two of them) have Minuteman Syndrome? Seriously? In the beginning of the movie, some young blond stud goes upstairs to put the shoes to Judith Myers, Michael’s sister of aforementioned lungs. He’s dressed and back downstairs saying “I’ll call you” in twenty fucking seconds. What the hell? If I’d been Michael, I’d stabbed him in the ass on his way out the door for making men on the whole look bad. And, fucking Bob…don’t get me started on this asshole. From zero to cigarette in 14 seconds! When Michael pinned his ass to the wall, I was happy as hell! But, that’s what you get for screwing in a horror film. Bob had to go out like a little bitch…and a Minuteman on top of it.
The lesson here is never have sex in Illinois. Also, buy American, but that might get lost in translation.
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