10 Newer Ways To Annoy PeopleFriday, October 16th, 2009
In a drunken haze last Friday…or Saturday, honestly, I can’t remember that far back, I posted 10 New Ways to Annoy People. I had so much fun writing it that I’ve decided to try and make it a weekly part of ManWithPez here. So, here’s 10 NEWER ways to annoy people. Well, newer by a week.
1. Take a 6 sided die to a public place and roll it. Explain to whoever may ask that this is the number of hours you will now talk with your mouth closed. Make sure your mouth is closed when you say it.
2. Fake being a celebrity on Twitter. Be certain no one thinks your intellect has progressed past the age of three. Also, throw in a lot of racial slurs and sexism.
3. Take a baked potato to the movies. Bring the toppings in little containers so you can apply them after the trailers.
4. Whenever anyone asks what you do for a living, tell them “Professional Spoonman.”
5. Bring a framed picture of Billy Mays to your local bar. Weep openly, but make certain everyone around you knows that you’ll be okay.
6. Bring an instrument you have no idea how to play on the bus. Play it.
7. No matter what book you have, whenever someone asks you what you’re reading, answer “Necronomicon”.
8. When you go to church, the first time the preacher says “Amen.” yell out “Booooooring!”
9. Put on some fangs and head to the local blood drive. You’ll have to work in the phrase “Hell no, I don’t want to donate! What do I look like?”
10. Lease a billboard to advertise a nonexistent cockfight. Use the word “cock” as much as you possibly can in your ad.