ManWithPez

Huey Lewis said it best "That's the power of love."

Upfront I should tell you that I’m a huge fan of the Scott Pilgrim books.  They’re brilliant, fun, and ring alarmingly true at times.  You can tell they hit a chord with Edgar Wright, who directed the new Scott Pilgrim vs. The World movie.  What hath Edgar wrought this time?  Find out after the jump. Continue reading »

Worst. Duel. Of The Fates. EVER!

Pop media is full of relationships between men that, while occasionally having sexual overtones, really just boil down to the fact that these characters are the kinds of friends that would bail each other out of jail no matter what the other one’s done.  One such relationship, and one of my favorites is the one between Simpsons supporting characters Lenny and Carl. Continue reading »

Oh God! Make it STOP!!!

I shouldn’t be doing this.  I’m letting you all peek under tha armor a little too much this time.  Then again, anyone who has read this site much probably knows all about how to annoy the living hell out of me.  Here’s a list concerning the things you might not have seen yet. Continue reading »

So pretty he makes me sick.

Man, it’s good to be back!  Anyways, let’s take a more streamlined look at two deserving Hot Nerd Crushes:  Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Anna Torv! Continue reading »

Marvel at my son’s acting abilities!  Okay, so the fact is that he didn’t want to be in the video, and I’m afraid it shows, but, by all means, please enjoy this, the last of our summer horror movie parodies.  We had fun, and I hope you had fun watching them.

I told you I’d be back sometime in August, right?  Well, here I am!  For better or worse, actually.  Anyways, Fall is approaching, and, for my money, that’s when the best movies of the year come out, the weather is the best, the holidays get a lot cooler, and people tend to not notice a drunk man standing in a parking lot because they’re too busy being cold.  Sorry about your parking lot, by the way, whoever’s random parking lot that was.  We’re in preparation for a few things around here.  The 30 horror movies of October have to be chosen, the crowning of Miss ManWithPez 2010 must commence, and the maiden voyage of my unsinkable ship, “Peztanic” takes place in November.  Okay, only one of those things is going to happen.  Stick around, though.  I’m happy to be back, and I hope to update with more frequency.  Of course more than zero is a big jump up in anyone’s book.  See you around!

The Descent, to me, is one of the most terrifying films, I’ve ever seen.   My children absolutely love it.  When we starting doing this film short series, they requested that we do a parody of The Descent.  We came up with this one on the fly, but I still love the results.  I hope you like them too.  They were very pleased with this one, mostly because it was shot inside of ten minutes.

The last name in entertaining vacation themed films.

Tomorrow begins a week long vacation for me and my family.  The only problem is that I haven’t been on vacation with my family in over ten years.  Also, I just wanted to apologize for the lack of updates just lately.  I’ve been very busy with my children this summer, and I expect things will pick up in August.  I love you guys, though.

Nah, I’m kidding.  Fags!  Heh.

If you had a red haired daughter, what Stephen King parody would you film?  Carrie gets a going over from Canes Venatici, but not too roughly, because that telekinetic young lady scares me!  Anyways, this is the fourth of our summer film series, but not the last.  hang in there for more in the coming weeks.  You seem to like them, and we love doing them.

The truth's the truth. You can await my young adult series "Go Fuck Yourself" being published any day now.

Okay, it’s been pretty obvious that I can’t stand the cultural phenomenon that has become Twilight.  However, I never knew I would draw as much ire over it as I have.  Twilight sucks, and really, that’s all there is to it.  It’s fans though, are another matter altogether.  Having been immersed in science fiction/fantasy/horror fandom for years and I’ve been around Star Wars fanatics, Trekkies, Browncoats, Whedonites, etc, etc, etc…and I’ve never seen anything to match the hatefulness and spitefulness of these Twihards.  So, let’s get started poking the hornet’s nest one more time!

1.  Walk up to someone wearing a Team Jacob shirt and ask ‘What’s it like to have to hots for someone who probably has fleas?”

2.  If you ever happen to see Edward Cullen out and about, ask him if he’s tired from mentally abusing his underage girlfriend.  It must be hard work, after all.

3.  Slap Bella across the face.  I don’t have anything to add to that.  That bitch needs a good slappin’.  Then again, she’d probably fall in love with you for it.

4.  If you meet someone who has named their children after someone from this series…kill them.  Their children are better off as orphans after their parents have clearly tried to stunt their emotional growth in such a way.

5.  Ask Edward Cullen if he feels ashamed for not being able to pull off hair product like Angel without looking totally gay.

6.  See if you can boil water on a collection of the Twilight werewolves, because they’re so hot (temperature wise).  When you fail to do so, tell them all to put on a fucking shirt already.

7.  See if you can menace one of the Cullen with a pair of plastic vampire fangs.  When you accomplish this (and you will), say “See!  It’s not that hard to be a scary vampire!”

8.  Just mention that you don’t like Twilight.  When whatever twi-fan is hanging around you starts on their normal bullshit, say “It’s not because I didn’t give it a chance.  It just sucks.”  Leave while they’re trying to convince you.

9.  Go to see Eclipse.  Turn to the person next to you and loudly say “So, where’s Gary Busey?  Isn’t he in this movie?  Doesn’t he have a silver bullet?”  Then go home and take a shower to wash your sins away.  Even if you went to see it as a joke, you’ve still seen it.

10.  The next positive review from some lame ass Twihard about Eclipse you hear, grab the front of their shirt and scream in their face “IT’S A SHITTY MOVIE BASED ON A FUCKING TERRIBLE BOOK SERIES!  IT’S NEVER GOING TO BE GOOD!!!  EVER!!!” 

Personally, if I hadn’t had trouble with friends, old acquaintances, family, etc, giving me shit for disliking this terrible thing, I wouldn’t have written this.  It is a simple fact that I will never, ever like this.  I gave it a chance, and came away thoroughly disappointed.  So, please, save it.  I don’t care what you have to say about Twilight.  In my opinion, it’s fucking terrible, and will always be that way.  End of story.